


afterglow

by withlove_wi



Category: Mamamoo, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:27:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22049359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withlove_wi/pseuds/withlove_wi
Relationships: Jung Wheein/Kim Taehyung | V
Comments: 28
Kudos: 135





	1. Chapter 1

On the 31st of December, at exactly 10:24 PM, Taehyung realized he has fallen in love. He thought to himself, this is the first time his heart has beaten this fast just by looking at someone. He turned his eyes away and focused on the flying embers of the bonfire. He unconsciously reached out to his chest, somehow wanting to contain his heart. He continued to watch the fire dance before him even though all he wanted to do was stare at her again. He thought he could fight it, but the need to watch her smile and throw her head back in laughter was winning.  
So he stopped fighting it.  
He looked up again and gazed at her exceptional beauty. She really was a work of wonder, he thought. She brushed back the long black hair that the chill wind of the winter night blew at her porcelain skin. Her skin, he thought, had this natural glow, like it’s shining to give light to everyone around her. He then watched as she continued to listen and laugh to every story being told and passed around the small circle like it was the most interesting she has ever heard. That laughter, it was harmonizing well with the sound of the wave of the sea. It was music to his ears.  
“She’s going to melt,” someone whispered to his ears.  
He turned and saw his closest friend Yoongi sit beside him on the mat, sand slightly scattering all over the place.   
Taehyung was embarrassed at how obvious he had been. He picked up the can of beer beside him and quickly drank from it. He gulped the bitter taste down his throat in one go and wiped the dribble of alcohol from the side of his mouth. He was taken aback by his friend and the sudden realization that he has never been this way, especially to someone he just met.  
Wheein, he thought, even her name was pretty, new and unique. She was a new classmate, transferred from another college in another town, and was now part of their group even though it’s only been a month. She’s friendly and got along well with the other girls of the circle, so it’s only right to invite her in their winter getaway, celebrating new year and the new decade in his parents’ beach house in an island in the south.   
She’s sitting across from him, hugging her knees and seeking warmth with her huge jacket. He thought, maybe he could offer his, but smacked himself at the thought. He has barely spoken to her. They only exchanged an awkward greeting a couple weeks ago when they bumped into each other in the library. He helped pick up the books she dropped from her arms. He noticed that the books were either about crime or poetry and thought it was weird for a busy fourth year accounting student to read, but it also made sense to him. She’s a walking sunshine emitting elegance and class but would be someone who likes to read grime and gore for fun. She has a personality, unique, he thought. She smiled and thanked him once he handed her the books. He wanted to talk to her, but there’s something about her that made his tongue curl up in panic.  
Now, as he thought about it, it might be because he’s starting to like her.  
She’s beautiful, smart, adorable, and everything else he still needed to know. He needed to know more than her name. He needed to have to call her pretty name with confidence and delight. He wanted to know her.  
“You’re staring again. She’s really going to melt,” his friend whispered again.  
Taehyung looked at Yoongi and opened his mouth to talk, but the latter taunted him with a knowing smirk. He zipped his lips and drank from his can again.   
“Make a move. I don’t think she’s with anyone.”  
He looked pointedly at him and muttered, “you’re impossible.”   
Yoongi dropped it at the moment, but Taehyung sensed that this would not be the last time he’s going to goad him. 

When the clock has struck an hour before 12, Taehyung got up and signaled for the other boys to help him set up the fireworks. They gathered the firecrackers from the house and walked five meters away from the group toward the sea. Seokjin, the oldest and tallest of them, Yoongi, and Jungkook, the youngest, helped him set up the wooden fireworks base board on the loose ground of sand. And even though Taehyung was instructing the three of them in what to do, his mind was elsewhere. It’s making him crazy how he could think of something else when his focus should be on the matter at hand and their safety.  
However, when he heard Wheein’s loud laughter, he turned his head like a reflex and watched how her small frame made big movements in reaction to whatever story Byul and Hyejin might have been telling her. He shook his head in disbelief. She’s just a girl he barely knew, yet she could make him act not like himself. He needed to focus and not want to look at her again.   
A few minutes have passed and the four of them returned to the group. He has succeeded in not letting the new girl invade his thoughts, or so he thought.  
Music was now filling the cold air, and Wheein was captivating everyone with her wonderful voice.  
Taehyung almost gasped so loud that he cleared his throat to hide his surprise. He couldn’t believe he’s hearing this right. Wheein has the most beautiful voice his ears have ever caught. Even with the struggle of the freezing night, her voice was smooth and stable, serenading the night with fervor and embracing each one of them with warmth.   
She’s perfect, he thought. She’s that person who’s already eye-catching at one glance but still turns heads with her rich personality and charms. She’s a treasure chest, a gold mine. It’s such a shame to not know more of the things she’s hiding, so Taehyung decided he wanted to know more things about her. He wanted to be hypnotized again and again. He decided he would talk to her and befriend her, and maybe eventually ask her out. He didn’t know how to do it, but at this moment, all he wanted was walk up right to her and get to know her and call her pretty name with his own lips.

The group has continued to jam and sing along together while waiting for the clock to strike 12 and welcome the new year. Jimin also continued playing his guitar for everyone. He was his most charismatic friend, whom everyone in their school was crushing over.  
Taehyung thought, unlike himself, it was so easy for Jimin to make everyone fall in love with his charms. His smile was always bright, and so was his personality and whole being. And this thought suddenly made him uncomfortable, especially seeing with his two eyes how the girl he’s been adoring for the night communicated with his good friend while singing: him playing the guitar and her singing while looking at him. Never has a simple thing made him feel this troubled. It’s like fighting with the wind.  
Taehyung remained quiet in the few minutes before the new year and kept himself preoccupied with alcohol. To his relief, everyone was busy to notice.

In a while, all nine of them stood up and circled around and started the countdown. Taehyung dragged Yoongi to help him lit up the fireworks.   
“Hey, you’re quiet the whole night. You okay?” Yoongi asked once they were far from everyone’s ears.  
Taehyung smiled and picked up the torch lighter among the tools. “Yup. Just thinking.”  
“You’re thinking about the new girl, right? If you like her, go for it.”  
Taehyung just smiled and made lighting of the fireworks an excuse to not talk about it.  
He looked up at the sky and saw how wonderful the night was. He said to himself, he would start the year getting to know that girl named Wheein, and he’s not going to stop just at that. 

All of them made a toast, sharing greetings and hugs as they celebrated the new year together, away from the confines of college and the world. Taehyung went around hugging his friends with a big smile on his face. He always liked being with them. They’re a family that was not as strict as his own. He’s free with them. It’s like a different world.  
Now, it’s only Wheein he hasn’t grown confidence to greet and hug. He was starting to feel nervous but stood upright and walked up to her. However, something in him panicked when he saw Wheein initiating a tight hug with Jimin. He’s not ready for this complicated feelings, he thought. So instead of going to her, he called out to everyone to gather up all their things and put out the fire as it’s starting to really freeze outside. He’s the first one to leave and head inside the house.  
Such a coward, he thought to himself. It was just a hug. A hug that all of them shared.   
The night was still young after all. He could still make up for what he did not do. A lot of things could still happen.

And he’s right, a lot of things did happen.


	2. Chapter 2

At 9:43 AM of the first day of the year, Wheein woke up with the world’s greatest hangover. It was so bad she couldn’t even make it to the bathroom to puke all the demons of the party the night before. She’s dead, she has died, at least with how her whole body felt, disintegrating little by little into tiny pieces like a broken glass. She slumped down the floor and puked even more when she saw how gross her demons were. She would never do this again, she said to herself. She would never drink like crazy especially in front of new friends. They’re still basically strangers. Why did she think it’s a good idea to trust her crazy, stupid self with the amount of freedom and alcohol they had? She stood up and tried her best to regain the last bit of dignity she had. She groaned to herself. She couldn’t even remember all the embarrassing things she willingly did.  
Like the blurred images of drinks and laughter and dancing in her head, Wheein hazily cleaned up after herself and took a shower. And it’s only after she had had coffee that she realized she’s alone in the house.  
She put down the mug on the kitchen counter with a loud thud, and even with her life-threatening headache, she went around the house looking for any sign of life like a lunatic. Wheein even checked the veranda upstairs but still found nothing other than the shy morning sun and the harsh cold air.  
Did they leave her already? Wheein was panicking as she climbed down the stairs to look for her phone. They were all supposed to go mountain hiking today to see a famous temple surrounded by withered cherry blossom trees, but it seemed that they left without her. She picked up her phone on the counter and started making panic messages to the group chat, and even with calls, she couldn’t get a hold of them, so she started suspecting that maybe the reception at where they were were really bad. Of course, she thought, they’re already up there at the mountain. There’s no way to reach them, and now she’s home alone and had the worst headache possible.  
Wheein didn’t mean it but she dropped down onto the floor and started crying. She was looking forward to this day. This was supposed to be her new beginning. Now, the day was not off to a good start, and she only had herself to blame.  
“Are you crying?” someone looming over her asked.  
Wheein lifted up her head and saw the quiet guy named Taehyung in front of her. Immediately, she got up and wiped her tears. So much for being alone now, someone just saw her crying over nothing.  
“Is everything okay?” he asked again. Now that she’s standing up, she just realized how he could still easily tower over her. Among everyone in the group, Wheein has never had a proper conversation with him. Although she thought he was really handsome and he smelled nice and had a daydream look in his eyes, he’s brooding and intimidating, that’s why she never bothered talking to him. She’s afraid he would hate her even with the slightest utter or movement. He’s so opposite from the other guys in their clique. He didn’t even bother to greet her last night when they went around wishing everyone a happy new year. Even one simple nod, he couldn’t give her. He just walked away like she’s invisible.  
Wheein carefully nodded and looked around for any sign of their other friends, but it’s still just the two of them.  
“They’re gone?” Wheein asked, her voice hoarse from the hangover and sudden crying.  
Taehyung looked at her for a long time like he’s examining her face before turning away and walking toward the refrigerator to get something. “They left earlier to hike. You were sleeping well, so we decided I’ll stay behind just in case you want to follow them.”  
And that’s the longest sentence he has spoken to her ever since they met. Wheein realized she wanted to make more words come out of him, so she kept talking to him. “What time did they leave? Do you know the way? Do you know where they are now?”  
Wheein watched Taehyung fix himself a cup of hot coffee and then lean back on the counter once he’s done. Just as fast as she blurted out those questions, Taehyung’s answers were as slow. It frustrated her a bit inside, but she thought she needed to be patient. She’s just beginning to realize they’re polar opposites of each other, and if she wanted to at least be on Taehyung’s good side, she should go with his flow.  
Taehyung looked like he’s weighing his words as he looked at her, sipping his coffee. It took so long that he was able to finish his cup before even saying a word. Once he put the mug by the sink, he crossed his arms and finally answered her. “They left two hours ago with the van. I know the way. I grew up here. I don’t know where they are right now, but I know where they will be. If you want to go join the hike, be ready in 5 minutes.”  
In Wheein’s utter disbelief, Taehyung quickly left the kitchen and went God knows where. She thought, if he had answered her faster, she would have had more than the 5 minutes he was asking her to get ready. Now, she’s got to keep up and move quickly.  
Wheein did as she was told and prepared herself and her gears and bag within 5 minutes, and by that time, she’s already at the front porch, wearing a long, thick padded coat, now second-guessing her decision to step out of the comfort and warmth of the house. The scarf, gloves, and boots were not enough for this winter.  
Meanwhile, it took Taehyung 5 more minutes before he went out, wearing almost the same outfit as her but with his backpack looking much lighter. He locked the door after him and took one last look at Wheein before he walked away toward the truck.  
Wheein’s mouth pursed in confusion. He gave her an ungodly time to prepare but was late himself. She huffed but followed him. She wanted to ask him if he’s really taking her to the right path but decided against it as she was already convinced he didn’t like her. She’d just stay quiet to avoid making him hate her more.

It was an uncomfortable silence, at least for Wheein. Taehyung has been driving for 20 minutes now, and she’s just sitting there beside him silently, feeling like there’s a mile of distance between them, still not uttering a single word to each other. Maybe the quiet guy could do it, but Wheein absolutely not. She’s built to make people like her, and the fact that one person could glitch that simulation, it’s enough to make her crazy. If not for the temple and the myth enclosing the place, she wouldn’t force herself through this awkwardness.  
She opened the window of Taehyung’s rusting and old but surprisingly still working truck, regardless of how slow it was going for her. She closed her eyes at the feel of the cold air on her skin, but sighed in excitement. She had a lot of hopes on this new year’s day. She would visit the temple and pray there and wash her hands with the water from the fountain. It was believed that if you do so before the sun sets, your problems from the past year would be cleansed and you would be blessed the entire new year. Hyejin told her the group went hiking last new year’s day and did the ritual, and it only brought them good luck. Not that Wheein was too gullible. It’s just that at this moment, she would do everything to be free from the past and have the best year ahead.  
She rested her head and gazed out of the window and watched as the naked trees and traces of snow pass by in a blur. As much as she’s looking forward to this day, she’s still reeling from her hangover and couldn’t enjoy every little thing she would usually love. She wanted to blast on some calming music in the car to clear her mind, but she’s not sure how the quiet guy would take it. He’s not even acknowledging her presence. He was just focused on the uneven, rocky road before them. Leaning back, one hand on the steering wheel, the other on the gearshift, this guy looked like he owned the whole island, and Wheein was so intimidated with that.  
To keep herself from being judged by Taehyung’s unreadable eyes, and to also cure the remnants of her hangover, Wheein pulled out her phone and ear pods and decided to play some music. Once connected to her favorite songs, she relaxed and let the rhythm of the music and the calm of the nature take over her. This has always been her happy place.  
She’s having the time of her life in her own world that she almost forgot they’ve been driving for a while now, with her grooving in her seat and singing and losing herself. At one point, she thought Taehyung side-eyed her and must be thinking she’s really weird, but Wheein didn’t care at all. She just wanted to enjoy the new year’s day even with no human interaction. It’s fine if this guy did not like her company. You cannot please everyone, they say. She should keep that in mind and totally not think of ways how to make people like her.  
However, within a few minutes, her phone died and her happy place vanished.  
“Shit,” Wheein muttered. She pouted and tried her best to revive her phone, but it’s a lost cause.  
At the same time, Wheein noticed that Taehyung was driving more slowly and was looking around the area, like he was confused. The road was now split into two in front of them, one slightly straight ahead, the other to their right.  
Suddenly, Wheein was getting nervous.  
“Are we lost?” she asked in a whisper, not sure if he even heard her.  
Taehyung snapped his head right her way, and Wheein was sure she saw his eyes shake in panic, too.  
He looked around again and started muttering to himself. “There should be a big tree here. It’s my landmark. They must have cut it down.”  
“But how about the group? Did they know the way?”  
“They’re with my older sister. She just arrived earlier to join the hike. She knows this place better than me.”  
Wheein pursed her lips in worry. “But we will get there, right? I really need to be there before sunset.”  
The quiet guy looked weirdly at her. “Why would you need to be there before sunset?”  
“Because of the fountain,” she said matter-of-factly.  
He side-eyed her again but did not probe further into her answer. “Let me just see if I remember this right. If we go straight this path, maybe we can see the trail way to the mountains.”  
Wheein puckered her lips but nodded at him. Even though they’re lost, at least he’s talking now. It’s a development.  
But just when Taehyung was about to shift gears and drive faster, the car engine died.  
“What the fuck?” he cursed a little bit louder.  
Wheein was frozen in her seat. “What, why? What happened?”  
Taehyung hit the steering wheel and cursed a little bit more. “Car battery probably died.” He then opened his door and climbed down the truck to check the engine.  
Wheein followed him and watched as he opened the hood of his car and examined the engine under. She hugged herself tighter. She has never felt so cold in her entire life.  
“This is hopeless.” He closed the hood and leaned back on it. He was staring at her in one heavy breath, confusion and annoyance mixed and evident in his face. “We’re 1 hour away from the beach house, probably 2 hours if we tried the mountain, not counting the actual hiking to the temple. Do you still want to go, or do you want to go back to the house?”  
Even though Wheein has not been feeling well since morning, this was the first time her face fell and she’s never been more upset.  
“Can we still try?” she asked in a soft voice.  
Taehyung looked at her for a long time again but nodded and went back to the driver’s seat to get his backpack and jacket.  
Wheein did the same, and now they started the longest, quietest, most uncomfortable walk on a new year’s day.

Even with the high noon sun, the cold air was still freezing for Wheein. It’s been half an hour since she trusted and followed Taehyung. Lost, no phone, no music, she couldn’t take it anymore. She needed to talk no matter how annoyed her only company would get.  
“I haven’t seen your sister. What’s her name?”  
Taehyung looked at her at the sound of her voice. He stayed quiet like he was deliberating if he would answer the question, but it took so long that Wheein didn’t think so, so she continued the conversation by herself.  
“I also have an older brother,” she opened. “His name is Hoseok, in case you want to know. He also graduated as an accounting student, but he’s now studying to become a lawyer in our university. We moved because of him.”  
He was just quiet and kept on walking ahead. Most of the time, normal people would be part of the conversation and ask questions, or it would be rude to the other party, but she let it pass and also continued rambling. “I wanted to continue studying in my former university because it’s my last year, too, but I don’t like my dissertation adviser. He’s kind of an ass. It’s better to move with my brother than stay there.”  
Wheein was sure she noticed Taehyung take an interest in her story with the way his ears perked up, however he stayed quiet. She rolled her eyes but continued talking anyways. “Glad I became friends with Hyejinnie and Byullie, or else I would go crazy. Dissertation plus exams and other things without some people to talk to? It would break me down. And they’re part of a bigger group, too! Everyone is so friendly and warm and funny. Easy to be with.” Wheein would like to add that by ‘everyone,’ she meant Taehyung was not included. He’s so intimidating and unfriendly, but best to keep it in her thoughts than point out the obvious.  
“Especially Jimin. He’s just so nice and so funny. One time he told me a funny joke in the library, I almost peed in my pants trying to keep myself from laughing. Guys like those are so fun. Oh! And he’s taking an elective class with my brother.”  
Wheein ended with a giggle, but Taehyung let out a small scoff.  
She thought it was rude, so she asked him what she said wrong.  
“Nothing,” he said quickly.  
She’s not convinced but continued walking beside him, this time a little bit closer. “Did I do something?” she finally asked, worry and annoyance coloring her voice. She’s not sure what she’s feeling anymore.  
Taehyung looked back at her.  
“I’ve been walking on eggshells around you for the past two hours,” she said calmly. “You keep on ignoring me, or if you’re not ignoring me, you’re being rude to me. What is it that I did or said for you to treat me this way? We never interacted until now.”  
Taehyung just sighed and was about to say something, but Wheein cut him off.  
She put her hands over her mouth and shrieked internally. “Is it because of something I did last night?” She stopped in her tracks.  
He also halted and looked back at her but remained stoic and was not saying anything, but it was enough confirmation for Wheein that maybe she did something that embarrassed the hell out of her at the party while she’s heavily intoxicated. “Oh my God. I did something last night, right? That must be it? Because we haven’t interacted ever. There’s no way for you to hate me like this unless I really did something last night?” Wheein turned her back and walked away from him, experiencing secondhand embarrassment for her drunken self and also a second wave of headaches.  
She rubbed her temple and tried to rack her brain of everything that she might have done the prior night, but everything was a blur and black to her. A long time ago, after a musical play where she played lead actress in her former university, she and her friends got so drunk she almost vandalized the office of the professors. She’s thankful someone sane enough that time stopped her. And like that time, Wheein also blacked out and couldn’t remember anything that happened the previous night.  
“I don’t hate you.” Wheein’s head turned to Taehyung’s direction. He started walking forward again but kept talking to her.  
She followed mindlessly.  
“I just don’t like you.”  
“How is that different?” Wheein’s high-pitched tone got ahead of her.  
“It’s different.” Taehyung finished at that sentence and immediately dropped the topic. He still looked like he knew the way to the mountain trail, but Wheein was beginning to suspect he’s just misleading her more.  
She started murmuring to herself, so annoyed that she’s stuck with someone who didn’t like her. It even crossed her mind that they’re all alone in the woods right now and no one would know if she suddenly decided to do something to him.  
She’s so bothered and busy thinking of why he would hate her and what kind of embarrassment she has shown her new friends the other night that she didn’t see the fallen branch that tripped her. Wheein fell onto her knees and then face and screamed into oblivion.  
“Shit, shit,” she cursed and held onto her left knee and rolled onto the ground.  
Taehyung came to her rescue and helped her sit up. “You’re bleeding,” he said and then sat on the ground and examined her knees. He pulled out the kit from his bag and started cutting off the ragged part of her pants for more access.  
“Why would you even wear a pair of thin pants in a cold weather?” he scolded while cleaning her wound.  
She hissed in pain as he dabbed alcohol and then iodine around the area of the abrasion. “I didn’t expect to fall.”  
“You should have been more careful. You didn’t even watch the path you’re walking on.” He kept on scolding her. “Just be glad I brought my first aid kit.”  
“I could have brought my own, too, if you didn’t make me hurry. I certainly don’t need yours.”  
When Taehyung touched the tender part of her skin a little bit stronger, Wheein couldn’t hold back anymore and cursed louder. “Fuck you.” She held onto his shoulders and tried to transfer all her pain to his body.  
Instead of being annoyed, Taehyung smiled at her.  
And never did Wheein see a more charming smile than that. She’s so used at him frowning at her that it made her heart skip a beat when he smiled even the slightest. Even the small space they’re sharing that she didn’t notice at first seemed closing in a bit more.  
He must have noticed that she turned quiet, so he cleared his throat and resumed putting on the bandage for her. Once he’s done, he covered the now exposed area with the extra scarf he had and then wrapped up his things. Afterward, he got up and just stood before her.  
“Come on, let’s get back to the house.” He offered his hand to help her stand up.  
But Wheein just stared at it. “We have to go to the temple.”  
Taehyung looked at her in confusion. “You’re hurt. How are you supposed to walk, let alone to the mountain?”  
Wheein got up on her own and looked him into the eyes. “I’m fine. I just really need to be there.”  
“Is it because you really believe in that myth?” His eyes have nothing but judgment.  
“Yes, and even if I don’t, you should not care. I can decide by myself. I need to be there.”  
He sighed at her persistence. “Let’s just go back. You need to let that wound heal.”  
“No. I can do it.”  
“That myth is useless. You don’t have to try too hard for that. Wishing on that fountain is nothing but a joke. It’s just going to give you false hopes.”  
“You know nothing.” At this point, Wheein was beginning to be annoyed.  
He scoffed. “It doesn’t take a genius to know you.”  
She furrowed her eyebrows at him. “Are you saying that I’m easy?”  
“You’re gullible. You believe in nonsense. You want everyone to like you. You do everything to make everyone like you. You let people walk over you. You’re a pushover.” Taehyung counted in his hand and ended with a deep breath like he ran a whole mile after saying those things to the tiny girl in front of him.  
“What?” She couldn’t believe what she’s hearing right now. “Is this why you hate me? Because I’m a people pleaser? And so what? What has it got to do with you?”  
He must have realized the weight of his words on her, but he stood his ground and said, “I won’t lead you there.”  
“Fine. I can go there by myself.” If there’s a door to slam shut, Wheein would have done so in his face. She walked away from him in the biggest strides she could do, not minding the pain on her knee.  
“Hey, where are you going? That’s not the way!” She heard him shouting from his place.  
“Like you know!”

Wheein walked and walked and walked until she’s sure Taehyung’s not following her anymore, and then she stopped and fell to the ground.  
It’s freezing cold in a far away island in the south. She’s there, sitting on the ground, tired from walking, hungry, cold, frustrated at her pathetic life, and all she wanted to do was cry. Taehyung was right. That myth was useless. You can’t depend on a stupid fountain for your life, but she wanted to believe in something. She wanted to give herself a symbol that she’s going to be fine, that she’s going to get through this year, that this would be better than the last. She just wanted to believe in something.  
But being alone now, hurt and hungry and cold, she realized she shouldn’t have run away from him. At least he had access to his phone. However, she has let her emotions take over her, and even though she didn’t want to regret her decision, she couldn’t help but do.  
She let her gaze wander around to find answers to her prayers. And that’s when she noticed it: the light of her day. Hot springs.  
Wheein’s eyes lit up, and she immediately got up and ran to it while limping and shrieking. She didn’t know she could find something like this at the foot of the mountain. It’s like a gift that opened up to her. She’s wishing for a fountain but got a whole damn hot springs instead.  
It’s such a pity her phone died. She would have taken lots of photos to keep this in her memory. She liked how tall, big trees cover the area even though they have been withered since fall, how there’s enough sunlight, how the big stones surround the hot, clear steaming water, how it was not too deep or not too shallow, and how the warmth of the air was so inviting to touch. And then she liked how the water was hot to kill the cold but also not too hot to burn.  
Then, all of a sudden, it popped into her. She had not seen anyone around for the last two hours, so it only made sense that she would not be able to see anyone for the next two.  
Wheein has never felt so naughty and happy like this. She’s laughing and giggling to herself as she carefully took off her bag and laid it on a big stone separating the water from the earth. She then took off her boots, jacket, shirt, jeans, until the last piece of clothing she had, even the scarf that Taehyung wrapped around her knee. She quickly dipped into the water before the cold could freeze her.  
And she laughed.  
“Oh my God!” She screamed into the void while holding onto the rock in front of her. “Did I just do it?” She kept asking herself and laughing at the craziness she just did. She felt so, so free. She felt like suddenly there were no things to worry about. Her dissertation, her exams, her whole degree, her family, her friends—suddenly all of them felt so light. Suddenly, it’s not that too bad to be alone.  
She carefully treaded the hot water and swam with her head high up in the sky, feeling the warmth of the moment only herself could experience. She didn’t even feel any pain anymore. The steaming water must have been helping her wound instead.  
Then, she thought it would have been nice if she had music to accompany her. The sound of the wind and the steam was unexpectedly deafening that she wanted to continue talking to herself just to fill her ears, and then the thought made her sad. It also would have been nice if she could have a conversation and share this moment with someone.  
Nevertheless, she would enjoy being alone for now. It’s not everyday she got to have time for herself. Naturally welled up hot water embracing her naked skin from head to toe, she’s feeling a bit more refreshed and content and blissful. She even thought for a second that she didn’t need that fountain anymore. She could just be here and renew herself by her own, without anyone’s help.  
But in only a moment, this happy place vanished, replaced with dread as her legs twisted in cramps and lost their balance under the water while reaching where the pain was piercing her. Wheein’s shrill muffled screams filled the open space, echoing from trees to rocks and bouncing from water to the air. She felt she’s about to die. She’s going to drown naked, half burning in the hot spring, half freezing in the air. All alone. Her whole life could not even flashback right before her eyes because she believed she hasn’t done anything remarkable yet. She’s going to die on a new year’s day all alone.  
Or she thought.  
Strong arms caught her and quickly carried her to the edge, lifting her up until she felt ambiguously warm ground under her skin. She struggled, breathing and coughing out all the fluid that she drank while she was drowning. Wheein was feeling weak and helpless and had no energy, but once warm lips covered her mouth, she spewed all of the fluid from inside her. She continued to cough and then slightly opened her eyes, watching the guy whom she ran away from mutter to himself.  
She then felt warmth little by little as she’s being covered with clothes. She closed her eyes again and just let the exhaustion consume her.  
Too much pain on her body, too many thoughts running in her head. Wheein was drained.

***

Wheein was groggy when she came to. She’s still outside in the woods, but now being carried by someone on his back. Her arms were around his front, her legs were wrapped around his arms and waist. Her hair was dripping wet and freezing behind her scarf that was wrapped around her head.  
The sun was still up but the temperature has dropped lower than she wanted. She could also feel Taehyung freezing with his wet clothes and shivering from the lack of heat. Wheein felt sorry for what she caused.  
“Sorry,” she muttered softly in his ear. She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. “I forgot I still have hangover and I could easily get cramps. I didn’t know I would drown like that.”  
Wheein heard Taehyung sigh, and he was about to say something but kept quiet.  
She suddenly realized that this day she’s looked forward to the most has completely failed. It was also still in Wheein’s mind that he has hurt her feelings, but she had no energy to talk. She’s hungry and exhausted, and she’s starting to feel lightheaded. There were so many things she still wanted to say, but fatigue has won over her. 

It was afterglow when Wheein woke up from her sleep. The sky has been painted with warm colors outside the low windows of her room. It was so quiet that the sound of the waves almost drowned out the lull of the heater. She’s warm under the comforts of her blanket, so warm she almost didn’t want to get up and look for him. But she had to because even though she hated him at the moment, he still saved her life.  
Wheein got up and only noticed then that she’s now wearing a comfortable pair of pajama and that her wound was covered again. Her hair was brushed and dried, and it’s as if she has been pampered a lot while she was sleeping. She went out of the room and looked for Taehyung in his room, but he was not there. The house was still quiet, and there’s no sign of someone in the house. Then, she carefully and slowly went downstairs, where she’s directly led to the kitchen.  
She found a pot of stew on the table, but no Taehyung in sight. Wheein was starting to feel nervous as she found herself more alone by the minute. She’s not really fond of being left alone, especially in such a place where communication was poor. Wanting to see someone else, Wheein continued looking for the last company she had, and there he was on the living room, lying on the couch, covered with hundreds of blankets and pillows.  
Taehyung was not looking so well. Wheein crouched down in front of him and examined his state. He’s shivering from the cold and his face looked so pale. His skin was also burning to touch.  
“Oh my God, I’m sorry.” Wheein cupped his face with her hands to give him more heat. “You’re burning.”  
Taehyung opened his eyes and looked at Wheein. “Have you eaten?” he asked.  
She furrowed her forehead in confusion of why he would still be asking such questions if he’s sick himself. “Have you taken any meds?” She kept on stroking his face and head. She has never felt so sorry and worried for someone until now.  
Taehyung nodded very weakly. “Eat first. I cooked a stew. It’s on the table. I can take care of myself.”  
“You’re shivering. You’re burning. How will you take care of yourself?”  
“Wheein,” he called her name slowly, carefully, gently. “Please eat first. I’m not going away.”  
Hearing her name in his soft, deep voice made her realize this was the first time he has called her name, and it stopped her and distracted her. Of all the things she should have been thinking about and doing instead, hearing him call her name was the one she’s been focusing on, like it’s a divine revelation, a once in a blue moment. Something so new.  
Wheein snapped out of it and decided to listen to Taehyung. “Okay, but you’re going to eat with me.” She got up and went to the kitchen and came back with the hot pot and a tray of two empty bowls, spoons, and glasses of water. She placed it on the coffee table beside them, and then she guided Taehyung to sit up. She put her arm around his shoulders and made him lean on a stock of pillows.  
Taehyung was just watching her move him like a doll the whole time, tucking him carefully and tightly under the thick blanket. “You know that I still need my arms to eat, right?”  
“Shut up. I’m feeding you.” She then looked at the sniffling Taehyung beside her one more time before sitting cross-legged. She dragged the table nearer and started filling one bowl with the still steaming hot stew. “Here, open your mouth.”  
The subject at the moment kept his mouth shut and just stared with heavily lidded eyes at the commanding woman beside him. “I won’t eat until you finish one yourself. You haven’t eaten all day.”  
“And so have you.”  
“I did while I was cooking.”  
“I don’t believe you.”  
“Don’t worry too much about me. Eat.”  
And for the second time around, Wheein folded and followed what Taehyung wanted. She rolled her eyes at him but still proceeded to eat, and it’s only then it came to her how hungry she actually was.  
“Oh my God? This tastes so good?” She’s so famished she devoured the entire bowl of spicy soup and vegetables in no time and was even filling it for another round. It happened so fast, she’s thinking she might get indigestion. She couldn’t even care how messy she might sound and appear to the sick person beside her. This was her moment. She’s just going to enjoy every last drop.  
“Be careful. You’re eating it too fast,” Taehyung said while smiling at her. He might be enjoying this view more than she expected.  
“How did you manage to cook something like this while you’re wild sick?” She asked after her last sip in her second bowl and then a glass of water.  
“Wipe your mouth,” he said, his smile becoming wider by the minute.  
Wheein did with a paper cloth while looking at him suspiciously in confusion, and she wanted to be mad but she couldn’t help but see how cute Taehyung was under the blanket. She closed her eyes and scoffed at herself. She couldn’t believe she’s having a problem being consistent with her emotions. She’s mad at him but at the same time grateful for him. She’s mad at him but also think he’s decent and cute. Really, she’s being manipulated right now if anything else.  
Wheein sat up straight and faced him, signaling for a serious talk with a partly drugged Taehyung. “You told me you don’t like me. You ignored me and mocked me. You told me so many insults. And then suddenly, you came in like a hero and saved me and clothed me and pampered me and even cooked for me, and you’re even smiling now like nothing happened? I don’t understand this. Is it perhaps a game, a ploy, or something?”  
Taehyung closed his eyes and sighed and then opened his eyes just to stare at her, a small smile drawn on his face. “I just don’t have the energy to not smile.”  
“So if you have energy, you’ll continue being a jerk to me?”  
He sighed again and then rested his head on the pillows. He eventually pulled out his arms from under the blanket and grabbed a pillow to hug. Wheein refused to focus on that. He’s not going to manipulate her with his bare minimum cute antics. “I’m sorry. I’m just not used to someone with so much energy as you, and when I said that I don’t hate you, I mean that.”  
“But you also said you don’t like me. Why is it so?” She crossed her arms before her and looked pointedly at him.  
“The point is I don’t hate you.”  
Wheein rolled her eyes at him again. She couldn’t believe she’s letting herself be fooled by this guy. She also wanted to ask him how he came up with those words that have made her upset the most, but she’s afraid to confront that truth yet. It’s scaring her how whatever he might say would pierce her like a knife.  
“We talked last night,” he suddenly confessed, maybe trying to divert the conversation to something else.  
And Wheein took the bait. “We did?” She was shocked to hear it for the first time and also embarrassed that she couldn’t remember. “How drunk was I to not remember that?”  
“We just talked about random things. Nothing important.”  
She pouted. “I told you something embarrassing, didn’t I?”  
“Someone swiped you right in Tinder and you swiped back not knowing it’s a professor.”  
Even before Taehyung could finish his sentence, Wheein was already smacking herself for that story. “Fuck, that was so embarrassing. It’s only when we started chatting that I realized I was taking her class. She definitely didn’t look like the type to date via social media. I was dying inside when I attended her class. Almost dropped it.”  
Taehyung was just smiling, and he seemed genuinely enjoying her company right now. The medicine has put his guards down, and Wheein was grateful. “How many have you met in person through that?” He asked.  
“No one really. Just wanted to chat, but I almost gave in with this one user. He’s so cute.” Wheein sighed dreamily. “We liked almost all of the same things and we agreed to each other a lot, but school has been draining me. I deleted the app without saying goodbye to him.”  
“So you would definitely date him if not for your studies?”  
“Maybe.” She smiled at him. “I really want to date, too. I like giving love and receiving love at the same time, but it’s just so hard these days.”  
Taehyung was quiet for a few minutes. He’s just looking at Wheein like his function to have conversations has finally encountered an error. “How about Jimin? You said you like him earlier, right?”  
She looked at him weirdly. “I totally did not say that. I just said he’s fun.”  
“Isn’t that the same thing?”  
She rolled her eyes. “Anyways, don’t tell him that. It might get into his head.”  
Taehyung just smiled and nodded. Then, he adjusted in his seat, making him closer to Wheein.  
“You, are you dating right now?” Wheein suddenly asked.  
He smiled and shook his head. “Who has the time?”  
“Absolutely not a graduating student.” She sighed and then laughed to herself. “But really, what do you like in a girl? Maybe I can introduce you to a friend.”  
Wheein was sure Taehyung was malfunctioning right about now. His responses took so much time. “Don’t introduce me to a friend.”  
“Why? Do you like someone already?”  
“Yes.”  
Wheein was shocked to hear him answer so fast, but all the more, it made her heart skip a beat. Maybe because of how he said it, with conviction and such manliness. Like he’s so sure and he’s proud. And totally not because she wanted that person to be her. She’s still convinced this guy’s playing her, or she’s convincing herself to believe it at least.  
“Why don’t you ask her out then?” She asked nonchalantly, taking her glass of water and then drinking from it, so she could mask her change of tone and disguise the want to clear her throat.  
“I will, but I’m still checking if she likes someone else. I don’t want to go through that again.”  
“Go through what?” Wheein’s ears perked up. His story was getting interesting.  
Taehyung’s eyes grew big like he just realized what he said and had no plans of sharing it, but it’s too late. Wheein wanted to know. He owed her that at least.  
“Come on, you can tell me,” she urged with a bright tone. “You saw me naked for too long, and I totally won’t hold it against you.”  
His cheeks colored up and his eyes closed in shyness as if he remembered what happened. “Okay, but this is just a secret between the two of us.”  
“Okay, I’m listening.” Wheein scooted closer to him, so close there’s almost no space between them and his heat became her heat.  
“I used to like this girl, but because we’re close friends, I couldn’t make a move. And when I finally had the courage, I learned that she’s already in a relationship with someone.”  
Wheein frowned at his story. “I’m expecting a kinda juicy gossip but that one is actually sad. What happened then? You gave up?”  
He sighed. “I gave up and I stopped being friends with her. Basically ruined our friendship anyways.”  
She pouted at him in empathy. “But please tell me you had another girlfriend after that?”  
“Flings. One time things.”  
Her smile was so big at that confession. “Oh my God? You’re such a slut.”  
“They just didn’t work out.” He tried to explain.  
“Make it work then.”  
“It’s going to work if it’s with the right person.”  
“How will you know if you don’t try?”  
Taehyung was silent and just stared at Wheein with a hint of a smile in his eyes. “Okay, I will try,” he said softly.  
Wheein just smiled at him, too. The atmosphere they had at the moment was so opposite from earlier. Now, it’s easy and comfortable and friendly. Wheein just wished they didn’t have this misunderstanding still floating over them. She wanted to be like this with him again. She realized that there’s something in him that once unlocked, would be so surprising and amazing. She wanted to know his favorite books, his favorite movies, what he thought about them, his views in life, the taste of his coffee, everything. If only she could, she would talk to him all night, but then it came to her that he’s actually sick and in need of rest.  
She looked into his eyes and saw how it’s shining even though his skin was so pale from the cold. She looked at his disheveled hair. He must not have had the time to brush it before he finally succumbed to the gravity of the couch. They’re still sitting so close, and she’s fighting with all her power all the urge to touch and comb his hair through her fingers.  
“Do you want to rest on your bed?” She asked, finally snapping out of it.  
He shook his head. “I need to help out once they get back here.”  
“You’re sick. You don’t need to move a finger.”  
“Stop worrying about me.”  
“You’re sick because of me.”  
He just shook his head at her and then leaned back on the many pillows on the couch.  
“You really want everything to go your way, don’t you?”  
Taehyung just smiled at her and nodded slightly.  
“You know what, just because you’re cute, it doesn’t mean you will always have it your way. Come on, sleep first then I’ll let you know once they arrive.” Wheein carefully stood up and tugged on Taehyung’s forearms.  
Just in time, someone’s phone rang. Wheein picked up the one on the table and gave it to him. Once Taehyung finished reading it, he sighed frustratingly and covered his face with his hands.  
“What happened?” Wheein nervously asked.  
“My sister just texted. She said they’ll rent a place for the night near where they are. It’s going to snow heavily tonight and she’s afraid they’ll be stuck while driving.”  
Wheein covered her mouth with her hand. “We’ll be all alone in this house tonight?”  
Taehyung heaved a big sigh and then muttered while looking into her eyes, “yes.”


	3. Chapter 3

It’s the first 1:03 AM of the year, and everyone has already gone wild. Taehyung was sitting quietly on the wooden kitchen table, drinking his millionth beer for the night and watching as everyone was trashing his parents’ beach house, with loud music over laughter and off-key singing. Some were just dancing, playing drinking games, or just plain drinking while conversing. They’re crazy and too loud, but just enough to balance his calm and quiet.   
But even with the chaos, Taehyung can only set his eyes for the one who’s currently making him insane.  
Wheein was right there, sitting on the couch, a bottle of beer in hand, intently listening to whatever Jimin was saying to her. Across from each other, smiling and nodding in between words, they looked like they’re having the most interesting story ever told. They must be really close, he thought. For her to fully put her focus on him, drinking beer while not breaking eye contact, she must really like him. And it’s making Taehyung crazy, because from afar, he could witness how this girl can only set her eyes on someone, and it’s not him.  
It’s a waste of time to give her all of this attention when she’s already focused on someone else. Taehyung couldn’t even work up the courage to greet her. He’s just fooling himself. But he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. Even that small smile not directed to him was so stunning it’s making his resolve weak.   
He must have been eyeing Wheein for some time now that he summoned her to look at him. For a second, she forgot about the guy in front of her and gave him the attention he never knew he’s craving. She smiled at him, and it’s the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.  
Taehyung suddenly got nervous and didn’t know what to do or how to act in return, so he just nodded at her and refocused on his hands where his beer was. He’s feeling so pathetic. How else would Wheein like him back if he’d continue acting such a loser? He told himself to go ahead and smile at her. It couldn’t be that hard. He’s flirted with girls before, some even led to more. Wheein was just another one.   
He lifted up his head and saw Wheein making her way toward him, and his heart has never been this wild. For the first time in a long time, he froze in front of a girl.   
“Hi,” Wheein said as she sat on the stool to his right. She put her beer on the table and propped her head with her hand. Her bare legs were crossed and dangling under the table. It almost looked like she’s flirting with him.  
Taehyung just nodded at her and then proceeded to down all of his drinks, masking his feelings with fake bravery and alcohol. He slammed the bottle a little bit louder on the table.  
“You’ve been watching me the whole night,” she said with her sweet angelic voice, still smiling at him.   
He cleared his throat and focused on his hands, not saying anything. Just when the girl who has been the center of his attention the whole day was finally right beside him, he suddenly decided it’s a good time to freeze.   
“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” Cheerfully, bewitchingly.  
He looked back at her, and only then that Taehyung realized that time could really stop. He’s so mesmerized, he could stare at the twinkle in her eyes forever. Or the gleam of her skin and every inch of her. That long, black hair that could go way down her simple black shirt. Everything about her no matter how casual looked so magnificent to him. She’s only shining in front of him, he couldn’t even think of anything better to do than watch her sparkle forever.  
He’s so hypnotized he didn’t know what to say.  
Wheein was looking at him with eyelashes fluttering and rose coloring up her cheeks, like she had so many interesting things to tell him. He’s not sure if it’s because she’s too drunk or she’s just this really warm person he’s not so used to be with. “Did we ever talk before?” She asked.  
Taehyung was inclined to answer, and so he shook his head slightly.  
She squinted her eyes at him and then suddenly giggled.  
Her eyes were shining even more, and her lips turned up for the biggest and sweetest smile that her dimple sank even deeper. Taehyung couldn’t help but feel heat rise up his cheeks. He’s annoyed how this girl could make him feel like a teenager, so easy to fall in love.  
“Yeah, you’re so quiet. I don’t think you can even talk. I haven’t heard you talk, for real. Do you talk? Can you speak more than five words in a conversation? Can you converse with a person? Do you know what a person is?” She’s laughing to herself.  
She’s drunk, he thought.  
“It’s okay, you can talk to me. You can even tell me secrets.” She leaned onto him real close to whisper something. “I will never tell anyone.”   
Her face was too close, and her breath was hot on his neck. He felt the shivers down his spine. All these feelings were so unnatural for him, so he cleared up his throat, again, and sat up straight.  
Wheein pulled back and pouted at him. “You don’t even smile. Do you know a normal person can smile? Do you know what smile is? Why are you not smiling?”   
She’s so surprisingly cute, Taehyung couldn’t hold back but move his lips to a smile.   
“There you go!” She whispered in a high-pitched tone. “I won’t tell anyone that you can do that. Now, smile more and then talk to me.”  
And so he did. He smiled more and looked at her sideways. He’s not wrong, she’s really the most beautiful person he has ever seen.  
“We haven’t talked to each other,” he said, now finding courage to speak to her without ending up stuttering.  
Wheein’s eyes went rounder and bigger. “Oh my God? Your voice is so deep. It’s so sexy. Say ‘accounts payable.’”  
He looked at her weirdly.  
“Just say it. I think you can make even the most dull word sound so sexy. Please, say it. Please?” She’s practically begging him, and there’s no reason for Taehyung to say no.  
So he obliged. “Accounts payable.”  
Wheein let out the biggest laugh she could, her energy steaming off her whole body. She was so happy, he made him repeat it again, and she’s even happier when he did. “I didn’t know you’re so much fun! Why haven’t we talked before? It’s so weird. We have the same classes, right?”  
“We only bumped to each other in the library once.”  
“We did?” She’s so surprised and very animated.  
“I saw you pick some crime novels and poetry books.”  
She scrunched her nose. “Yeah, don’t tell others that. I don’t want them to know my geeky side.”  
“You’re studying numbers. There’s nothing more geeky than that.”  
“I read for fun. There’s nothing more geeky than that.”  
“Crimes are not at all geeky. I actually think it’s cool.”  
“Really?”  
“Why would you think otherwise?”  
She turned her eyes away from him and squinted at the distance. “I don’t really know.”  
“And poetry is cool, too,” he added. “Not everyone can appreciate poetry.”  
That statement must have softened her, so she gave him a sweet smile. “You sound like you like me.”  
Taehyung got taken aback by what he heard. He would be choking in his drinks if there’s anything more to drink.   
She laughed again and then got off the stool and touched his arm. “I’m gonna get us more drinks. Stay here.”  
And she left, shimmying her way to the fridge across the kitchen. When she got back with four bottles of beer, she didn’t hesitate to down one in one go. She didn’t even flinch. She must have been a real hassler in drinking even compared to him.   
“Do you have anything stronger than this?” she asked.  
“You have drunk a lot already.”  
“No, I can manage. This beer is just getting too boring.”  
Taehyung hesitated. “My dad has a stash of vodka and rum upstairs. You want?”  
Wheein’s eyes lit up, and then she nodded like her life defended on it.  
He just laughed and shook his head at her. How did they go from being so awkward around each other to actually drinking together? It’s a mystery.

Only a few steps on the staircase and Taehyung has already been second guessing his decision of inviting Wheein for a drink on his own bedroom. He asked himself what he was even expecting and why there were expectations. They’re basically strangers. Where did this bravery suddenly come from? However, thinking about it lightly now, it’s only going to be friendly. Nothing more.  
Quietly sneaking upstairs, they successfully managed to evade the stares of their friends. Once inside Taehyung’s room, Wheein carefully looked around like a child. She’s touching every little thing that caught her interest, no matter how simple.  
He’s staying in the master’s bedroom that has the best view to the beach. At the center laid a king size bed cushioned with hundreds of pillows and thick blankets, and adjacent to the wall closet was a tall glass cabinet that stored his father’s hard liquors. Because the moonlight was enough to lit up the room, Taehyung only turned on the bedside lamp. He also contemplated if he would play some songs to drown out the loud music that was booming downstairs.  
“I should have gone to you a lot earlier,” Wheein said as she’s gazing outside the low glass windows to the winter sea. “Or should I say ‘last year’?” She looked at him, and they both smiled at that old-fashioned joke.  
She looked so carefree just standing there, with the moonlight illuminating her. She’s so wonderful he could write a song for her on the spot or paint her even if he couldn’t do any of those things. Just having this woman inside his tiny world could make him feel… things.   
“You want music?” He asked.  
She smirked at him. “Sexy music? Why? You’re gonna seduce me?”  
He just smiled at her, and she rolled her eyes in return. “I know how people like you move. I’m a magnet for your kind.”  
“What kind?” He asked and then tapped on his phone to play some music. He connected it to the console speaker and let 70s rock fill the air.  
“Those who stare at you the whole night across a room of strangers and then make you feel the need to approach them.”  
Taehyung opened the liquor cabinet and grabbed one bottle of vodka and a shot glass. He slowly made his way to her. “You’re the one who came on to me.”  
“No, you’re basically begging me to come over to you.” She took the glass from him and waited for Taehyung to open the bottle and pour her the much awaited star of the night.   
He did and poured her a minimal amount. “If you’re so used to my kind, or whatever you’d like to call me, why did you still approach me?”  
Wheein’s eyes lit up like she had something evil in mind. She suddenly tucked her hair behind her ear and bit her lower lip as if she’s being seduced. “Because you’re cute.”  
“Now, you’re just shitting on me.” He laughed at her and gestured at her glass.   
She just rolled her eyes again and downed her shot in one go, not flinching, not making it seem like she needed something to wash the burn of the hard alcohol. “Why didn’t you bring these downstairs? It’s so unfair for them. But better for me. I get to have these motherfuckers on my own.”  
Taehyung raised his eyebrow at her. He has never heard her curse like this. Maybe, she’s really not the good girl he thought she was. He grabbed the glass from her and drank one himself.   
“Wow, you can go hard, too. Are we really doing this? No chaser at all?” Wheein was smiling.  
“Of course, I can go hard.” The sudden heat and burn of alcohol in his veins made him more confident in front of the girl who made him freeze and a coward not even half an hour ago.  
“Well, not as hard as me.” She snatched the bottle from him and drank straightly from it. With the way she’s not stopping at all, he thought she’s going to finish the whole bottle by herself.   
“Are you sure you will still be alive tomorrow?” He placed the now forgotten glass on the top of the windowsill.  
She wiped her mouth with her forearm and handed him the vodka after almost finishing a good amount of it. “It’s okay. Today will be the last day I’m going to get hammered like this. Because you know what?”  
“What?” He asked, now drinking from the same mouth of bottle she drank from.   
“Because tomorrow, I’m gonna be a new person,” she said with full conviction, like a child proving to her parent that she’s right. “I will leave the old Wheein and start a new Wheein.”  
“How will you do that? How do you really change into a new person?”   
She pondered on it for a bit, still holding eye contact with him. Taehyung thought maybe this was just how she would talk with people, eye to eye, no holds barred. “I will be productive and stop doing my unnecessary habits,” she finally said. Wheein snatched the bottle from him again and drank from it. The back and forth of the bottle made it seem like they’re playing they’re playing tennis, but a lot more up close.   
“Unnecessary habits?” He grabbed the bottle from her, now slowly and lightly grazing his fingers over hers. He drank from it while looking her in the eyes and being aware that Wheein’s lips touched this very same bottle.   
“Yeah, like being so friendly. Do you know being so friendly can get you in trouble, too?” He handed her the bottle, and she accepted it, with her small hands fully enveloping his. Now, it’s Taehyung going dizzy thinking about how soft and smooth her hands felt over the rough of his.  
“Well, anything can get you in trouble. You can get in trouble for being so good at school, for being so pretty, for being smart, for always obeying what others want you to do or to be, and also for being so fucking pretty. Wait, I think I have said that already.”  
“Yeah, you did,” he muttered. He’s grinning at her silliness, she’s almost slurring her words now.  
They kept on going over the top half of the vodka for a few minutes, with Wheein drinking too much or Taehyung drinking it all or just not drinking at all. He just wanted to give this unpredictable woman a break and totally not because he wanted to taste where her lips have been.   
“I don’t know how exactly, but I’m really going to try and be a new person,” she said, her eyes squinting at the distance through the low windows, watching the waves of the seas overlap each other and reach the shore, like she’s seriously contemplating about life, but then transforming into another person when she downed her shot and had let out the loudest cheer for herself. “I’m so fucking drunk!” She raised the bottle up in the air like it’s a victory. “I need a break. I need to lie down.”  
Taehyung silently chuckled at her. “Juice?”  
Wheein pouted. “Yes, please?”  
He nodded. “Stay here. I’ll be back.” He turned around and stepped out of the bedroom, but not forgetting to glance back at Wheein who was giving her a knowing smile. She’s definitely flirting with him, he realized. This was going to be a hard night.

Taehyung quietly made his way to the kitchen so as not to attract suspicions of where he has been hiding all this time. He grabbed the carton of orange juice from the fridge and a glass from the cabinet. While pouring the juice onto the glass, someone sneaked up on him.   
“Where have you been?”  
Taehyung turned around and saw Yoongi looking at him suspiciously.   
“Haven’t seen you hanging out with us.”   
“It’s too loud. I was just in my room.” Once done, he opened the fridge again to return the box and to grab one bottle of beer.   
“Orange juice?” Yoongi was eyeing him.  
“So what?” He closed the door of the fridge and grabbed the glass on the counter.  
“You’re drinking orange juice with beer? Who are you? Or wait, is this for someone else?”  
Taehyung stared at his friend, thinking twice if he could just tell him. There’s no reason to hide it from him. He sighed. “It’s for Wheein. She’s drinking vodka with me. She said she needs something to water down the alcohol.”  
He expected his friend to be mad as he’s trying to hide the hard liquors from him all day only to drink it with someone else. Instead, Yoongi looked at him with an amusing smile.  
“Vodka on the first night? I never knew this is your game of seduction.”  
“No one is seducing anyone. It’s just friendly drinking.”  
“Friendly? So if I suddenly want to drink with you two, you’ll invite me in?”  
Taehyung couldn’t help but give his friend a hard look and turned back from him.  
“I was just asking, dude! No need to be defensive.” Yoongi called out from him as he walked away toward the stairs. “Also, don’t forget to wear protection!”  
Taehyung walked faster, he didn’t want to hear anymore of Yoongi’s bullshit. There’s always that one friend who would stop at nothing to tease you. But as his footsteps became heavier on the staircase, he realized what he said actually made sense to him. He really needed to protect himself from Wheein. She’s… too much for him.

She was lying down on her back when Taehyung returned to the bedroom with the drinks in hand. Her petite body and her velvet black hair were splayed all over his bed, her bare legs before him, and she looked so happy and relaxed. She’s smiling like she’s waiting for him. This wasn’t Taehyung’s game of seduction. It’s Wheein’s.  
He put the glass on the bedside table and decided to sit down on the floor where he could be safer and leaned back on the side of the bed. He gazed toward the waters. Everything seemed so calm, but not his heart and mind. He sighed and then started drinking his beer. If he wanted to spend more time with Wheein, he definitely needed more of this alcohol-induced bravery.  
“Hey, unfair!” He heard her call out from behind him. Wheein moved and lied flat on her chest, her face now right beside his.  
If it’s one hour ago and Taehyung hasn’t consumed this much liquor, he would have frozen himself on the spot, but because of his newfound confidence, he found himself turning his head and looking at Wheein’s pretty face much more up close.  
“Why did you get yourself a beer? I want to drink.” She pouted and begged with her doe eyes.   
“You said you want juice?”  
“I didn’t say that, Mr. Daehyung.” Wheein glared at him.  
“You did, and it’s Taehyung, not Daehyung.”  
“It’s just the same thing!”  
Taehyung just playfully shook his head at her. “Go get your juice and get down here.” He patted the empty space at his right.   
She huffed in annoyance but grabbed the glass of juice and sat down next to him, a little closer for him. She also wasted no time gobbling it so fast so she could drink alcohol sooner, the flow of the fluid evident in her delicate neck. He suddenly had the urge to touch it just to know how it would feel.  
“Can I drink now?” She asked, the glass of orange juice still half full.  
“Let’s finish this beer first then the vodka.”  
“Okay, sir,” she said slowly and then sneakily snatched the beer from him.  
Taehyung just stared at her. She’s not only superficially attractive, her personality is also interesting. He couldn’t wait to discover more things about her.  
“Your voice sounds so good,” he said out of nowhere.  
Wheein smiled at him and drank his beer. “Everyone says that. Give me another compliment.”  
“Your voice is the best?”  
“Oh, boy.” She animatedly threw her hands up in the air. “What has accountancy done to you? Another one.”  
“Your voice is…” he paused. This strong vodka was frying his brain. He tried to think of earlier when he’s been mesmerized with Wheein’s voice for the first time and remembered how it made him feel even from the distance. “It’s something I have never heard of.”  
“I can’t tell if that’s a good thing.”  
“You like hearing compliments so much, don’t you?” He’s smiling at her.  
“Who doesn’t? I like to be on the spotlight. I like to be someone people watch walk away. I like attention, and I’m not ashamed of it.”   
“You’re so confident that everyone will like you.”  
“I have the charms you know. I’d like to consider this,” she gestured at her whole body, “my best asset.” Wheein looked at him, her eyelashes intentionally fluttering. “Why? Can’t you see my charms? Are you not starting to like me?”  
Taehyung just shook his head lightly, smiling to himself. He would tell her his feelings in the morning, when they’re not both intoxicated by the devil, as Wheein would like to call it.  
“You’re such a snob!” She pouted again. This time, he couldn’t help but notice the plump natural red of her lips. He was instantly magnetized. “You barely talk. You always look my way but can’t say a simple hi?”  
“You’re likeable as a person,” he reasoned out.  
“Hey, just say you like me. It’s not that hard.”  
Oh, it’s hard, he thought.  
Thankfully, Wheein was starting to get real drunk she immediately dropped the topic and moved on to another one, and so many other topics thereafter. She’s so talkative, he almost couldn’t tell when the last drop of alcohol ended and another bottle was opened. It’s all a blur.

It’s still dark outside, and Wheein was still very much alive. She kept talking about the books she has read and every detail of those fictional characters’ life.  
“How can you hide this part of you from everyone else? You sound like you breathe books.”  
“I’d still like to keep a secret to myself,” she said. Wheein was lying down on the bed again, her hair hanging from the side of the frame onto the floor. It’s really long and thick it could go on for days. He’s still sitting on the floor and couldn’t stop looking at Wheein’s face. The moonlight could really bring out someone’s inner glow.  
“But is it still a secret now that I know about it?”  
She rolled her eyes at him. “You knew about it by accident. And I really need to have a confidant anyways. Might as well vent out everything to you here and now.”  
“So, I’m a new very important person in your life?”  
“Yes,” she smiled at him. “Beware, I might drop you secrets like bombs from now on.”  
“You consider reading for fun as something to be hidden from the world, I won’t really worry about myself.” He looked at her with a knowing smile. All that was in his mind was he would have more chances getting to know Wheein. Right now, it’s the only thing that could make him giddy, and he’s not embarrassed to admit it to himself.   
Wheein was suddenly quiet and thoughtful, seemingly thinking of secrets she could tell him. “You know what I really like about some crime novels?” She turned around so she could lie flat on her chest again.   
Taehyung pointedly looked at her, wondering what she’s up to.  
“The way the authors write a simple description of a motion, it’s just so graphic you can almost see it up close. So graphic, even a stab of a knife through the many layers of fabric, soft skin, muscles, seems so romantic.” She moved an inch closer to his face, talking in a whisper. “Like you want to do it yourself just to see if it would make you feel that same lust for blood.”  
Wheein’s voice sounded so low and raspy it’s tempting Taehyung to watch how her lips moved, but he tried his best not to look down from her eyes. He’s afraid he might do something he would regret, but even just looking at her eyes was enough for his undoing.  
“The same way I read erotica in my small, dark room. Just me and my porn book.” That fire in her eyes, she’s taunting him. “No one else knows, Taehyung. Everyone thinks I’m studying so hard in my room I keep it locked for the whole day, not knowing I’m reading something else.” She went closer to whisper in his ear, speaking in a much lower and raspier voice. “Sex. A lot of sex.”  
Taehyung closed his eyes.   
“That’s just one secret out of many. I’m not really a good girl, you know.” She’s still talking in her slow, sexy tone. By now, he’s sure she knew the power she has over him.  
“That’s all?” He asked, opening his eyes to look into hers. Her face was still so close to him, but he’s not backing down. He has built up so much confidence now, thanks to the alcohol. “After reading about two people having sex, imagining them doing it in your head, you just drop your book and that’s it? Nothing else?”  
She naughtily smiled at him. “Who said they’re just two people?”  
He tried to keep his emotions in check.  
“And what do you want to hear? That I’m too aroused and horny I watch porn or touch myself after?”  
Wheein.  
Wheein.  
“Just to fill in the needs? The craving?”  
Wheein.  
Taehyung has no thoughts.  
“And you sure you wanna know about all of my secrets today? We have more time to get to know each other when we get back. More time for me to blow your mind.”  
He thought he could do it, but he’s no match for this woman. She’s confident and so full of energy. Incredible, huge amount of sexual energy. And it’s making him crazy that he didn’t see this coming. She’s not what he expected.  
Taking a deep breath, Taehyung finally snapped out of it and gave her an unreadable stare. “Come down here, drink.”  
Wheein stared back for a little bit but willingly obliged and accepted the bottle Taehyung handed her. She chugged the alcohol like it’s water till its last drop. “Do you also have rum?”   
It took Taehyung a bit longer to answer. She wanted to drink more, and he’s not sure if he could handle anymore of drunk Wheein. It’s taking so much of his patience not to take her face in his hands and kiss the hell out of her, and with one more drink, that restraint might dissolve. But he’s not the one with power in this situation. It’s always Wheein.  
“Yes, in the cabinet,” he muttered.  
“I’ll get us one.”  
Taehyung just watched Wheein sway while walking to the cabinet half across the room. She opened it and wandered her eyes like she’s looking at a treasure chest. He’s sure Wheein didn’t even read if it’s rum. She just grabbed one and came back holding a box of cigarettes as well.   
“Where did you get it?” He asked and then sat up straight.  
She dropped down on the floor in front of him. “This one looks fairly new and not a stash of your father.” She held it in front of his face. “You smoke?”  
He’s not sure what to say. Her tone seemed unreadable, and he didn’t want to disappoint her.  
“Is this why your voice sounds so sexy and deep?” She asked in a low voice, curious.  
“Is that how my voice sounds to you?”  
Wheein looked at him like he’s nuts. “So, you really smoke? This is yours?”  
“Why do you want to know?”  
Her face broke into a small smile. “Nothing.”  
Thinking about how fast everything moved tonight, the feelings and the mood, he just relaxed the tension in his shoulders and smiled at her, too, and decided to give it a rest.  
They continued drinking and conversing on anything that came to Wheein’s mind. She’s still full of energy even after so many drinks and not at all giving up. Taehyung was slowing down on his, but she’s relentless. He thought maybe the full drunkenness hasn’t settled on her yet.   
“I’m telling you she’s the one who killed the teacher,” she said.  
“Why would she kill someone who helped her?” he asked.  
“Because!” Wheein ended there and snatched the glass of rum from Taehyung and drank from it. “She has motives. I just haven’t read that part yet.”  
“You’ll only kill someone like that if you’re a psychopath.”  
She smacked his shoulder. “Hey, I’m the one reading the book. You’re not there in the situation.” She was quiet for a few moments and then spoke. “If I could, I would really kill my professor.”  
Taehyung looked at her weirdly. “You already did that, didn’t you? That’s why you transferred schools even though you’re in your graduating year.” He watched Wheein’s eyes shake in front of him, making him conclude something. Saying it out loud, not caring if it’s going to drive his hidden desires. “You killed your professor.”  
She went closer, sitting on her calves, almost kneeling in front of him. “Yes, this is not a book. It’s actually my story. I killed my professor.” She said it in monotone while looking dead into his eyes, and he couldn’t help but play along with this.  
“How did you kill him?” He asked in a whisper. Thinking about Wheein reading her crime and erotica, thinking about her locking herself in her own room to read about sex.   
“One night, I know he’s working late in his office. I sneaked in, and when he least expected it, I slashed his throat with a knife.”  
A lot of sex.   
“That’s so easy. Didn’t you give him a chance to say a last few words?”  
Thinking if she watched porn.   
She squinted at him. “I grabbed his neck first from behind.”  
Thinking if she touched herself.  
“Did you choke him?”  
Thinking if she satisfied her needs.  
Her cravings.  
Wheein closed her eyes as if imagining it in her head, seeing it in her eyes, feeling it in her fingertips, and Taehyung swore it’s not only his breathing that has become erratic. “Yes,” she said and then opened her eyes, this time with fire shooting through his. “Choked him so hard he couldn’t even scream.”  
Taehyung couldn’t keep his eyes on hers for any longer. The hard liquor might have given him all the confidence in the world, but he’s still weak. His stare travelled from her delicate, rosy cheeks to her plump limps colored with blood, her sharp jaw, and her soft-looking neck he has always wanted to touch. “How?” He asked again in a whisper. He reached out and touched her face and then the skin behind her ears and the shivers he could feel breaking out from her skin. “How did it feel… choking him?” His fingers softly caressed the base of her neck and the lump of her throat.  
Wheein placed her hand on top of Taehyung’s, putting more pressure into her skin. “His cries of struggles, it made me happy, so powerful.” She closed her eyes again and fully intertwined her fingers with his and then brought it in front of her chest.   
Taehyung’s breathing became more uneven. He’s beginning to become so dizzy, and he’s sure it’s not the vodka or beer or rum to be blamed. His eyes felt so heavy, but he still couldn’t look away from Wheein’s face, her eyes closed and mouth slightly opened, her jaw tilted, her neck and collarbone bare and exposed, their hands in front of her chest, and her whole body kneeling in front of him. She looked so vulnerable and defenseless but also emanating with so much class and elegance. He’s mesmerized. He’s hypnotized. “What else? What else did it make you feel?”  
She finally opened her eyes and did not miss shooting flaming daggers into his. “Lust.” Wheein breathed so fast she almost choked in the air. “Lust. All I can think of.”  
“For your professor?”  
She just looked at him and has let go of his hand and went closer, fully kneeling in front of him, her knees in between his thighs, to whisper right into his ear. Taehyung felt more uncontrollable, his heart was jumping all over his chest. He held onto her waist, his big hands splayed on her tiny body. His eyes fixated on her neck, those deep collarbones peaking right under her shirt. He knew it’s going to be a hard night. But not this hard. “For him?” He asked again, gulping down the lump in his throat.   
“I’m not thinking of anyone else. It’s you.”  
Taehyung closed his eyes and let Wheein’s sweet, not at all innocent smell intoxicate him more. His grip on her waist tightened, inch by inch pushing her more into him. “You want to kill me.”  
“Yes,” she whispered again. Her hot breath tickled him right into his guts. He’s burning with all of his desires. “I want to choke you to death.”  
Taehyung couldn’t take it anymore and took Wheein’s face in his hands. “What are you doing?” He asked softly, searching her eyes for any clue. “What are you doing to me?”  
Wheein’s eyes snapped wide open, shaking like she’s not sure what she’s doing as well, like she has woken up from a deep spell. “I don’t know.”  
He caressed her jaw with his thumbs. “Wheein, don’t make me kiss you tonight.”  
“Why not?” She whispered.  
He stared at her long and hard. “Not tonight.”  
She nodded and put her hands over his and held onto him. “You want to smoke?”  
“What?” He was taken aback by her suggestion.  
“I need this right now.”  
“You’re going to smoke, too?”   
Wheein bit her lower lip and nodded. 

Taehyung and Wheein managed to get to the veranda at the west side of the floor without tripping and getting noticed. They must have been more drunk than they knew, they couldn’t even feel the freezing cold even with their thin sweaters.  
“So this is one of your secrets? You smoke?” He asked and then lit up the cigarette in Wheein’s mouth.   
That same mouth that was begging to be kissed a few moments ago now sucking on his own stick, and it’s taking Taehyung his hardest to restrain himself.  
She inhaled and then blew the smoke into the air, tapping the ashes to fall into the wooden floor. She smiled at him. “Yes.”  
He lit up one for himself and proceeded to intake a good amount of nicotine, helping him relax with all the wild ride Wheein has put him through tonight and just this moment. “I would never guess. You look demure.”  
She laughed quietly. “What a surprise, right?” She put the cig back to her mouth again and inhaled, eventually blowing and watching the smoke swirl in front of her. “It’s not habitual. Just when I feel the need to.”  
“Stress?”  
She nodded. “You have just put me into a lot of stress.”  
Taehyung could say the same.  
Then, her smile dissolved. “My brother was nuts. I hate him. Also, I think he has a boyfriend, which is totally unrelated to me hating his guts.” She extended her hand and, with one eye, watched the cig burn and turn the tobacco into mere ashes. “He’s so perfect you know. My parents think so, too. It’s so hard to keep up with their expectations when someone like him is also their child. Now, he’s taking law. Should I also take law? And he’s got a boyfriend. He’s got everything! I got nothing.”   
Taehyung just watched Wheein looked into the distance. One question and she launched into an endless rant. She has frustrations no one knew about, and it’s only now that she’s drunk enough that she could tell someone.  
He’d like to tell her he could understand what she’s feeling, but that’s just wrong. No one truly knows someone else. No one is knowledgeable enough to validate or invalidate someone’s feelings. They’re all the same lost people wandering endlessly in this uncertain world.  
“Good grades, boyfriend, whatever. Why does he get all the good things in life?”  
“You can freely date if you want to, you know?” He said, lightheartedly.  
“I know! With a face and body like this, it’s not going to be so hard.” She smiled slightly. “Studying is. Everything is hardwork, but not meeting someone. You know, right?”  
He just laughed softly beside her and then drew out smoke from himself.  
“It’s already hardwork, but then you’re so friendly you let people disrespect you and walk over you. Taehyung, you know why I’m drinking like this or smoking like this? Why I transferred from my former university? Isn’t it weird, a graduating student suddenly dropping off everything to start a new one?” she asked.  
Taehyung kept quiet and just watched her let off the steam and emotions that have been pooling inside her.  
“My friend that I trusted so much stole my dissertation from me, and my weird ass looking professor did nothing for me because she’s the dean’s daughter. And there I was, just giving away my blood and sweat for free. For free! I did nothing. I just let her walk all over me like I was nothing. And here I am, instead of being afraid to be friends with other people, smoking with a stranger, drinking beers and vodkas and rum and a fucking orange juice with someone who made me feel invisible for a month! I am so pathetic!”  
He looked over her and saw tears welling from her eyes.  
“Why am I telling you this? I just called you a stranger.” She started putting out her cig at her foot and then wiped her own tears and laughed. “My God! I am so drunk!”  
Taehyung reached out and touched her face again, this time more lovingly. “Get drunk and then tell me about your frustrations again.” Softly, he looked into her eyes. “You know that I barely talk, your secrets are safe with me.”  
Wheein relaxed on the wall, like speaking her mind and Taehyung’s presence have lifted up her burden. “I’m getting dizzy,” she muttered and then looked at Taehyung contemplatively, her eyes sparkling. “If you won’t kiss me tonight, will you please just hug me?”  
He softly laughed but had no other chance to decline. Wheein went closer and wrapped her arms around him and gave him the tightest hug he had in a long time. She buried her face into his chest and stayed there as if she’s hibernating. He looked at her clinging onto him. She’s this tiny, but her presence was stronger than anyone who has come close to him. And she’s someone who has only been with him for a few hours. Amazing how a few bottles of alcohol could change two people’s relationship with each other 180 degrees in such a short span of time.  
Taehyung hugged her back, one hand flat on her lower back, the other caressing her hair. This moment, he’s never been calm and happy. His smile was so wide it’s tearing into his face.  
But the magic of the moment was broken when the door to the veranda was thrown open.  
“Hey,” someone called out.  
Taehyung and Wheein broke their hug and saw the clueless Jimin hovering at the doorway.  
He’s looking back and forth the two of them. “Wheein, the girls have been looking for you,” he said slowly, probably figuring out what he just witnessed.  
“Why?” She asked nonchalantly.  
“I’m not sure.”  
“Okay, I’ll go downstairs.”  
And just like that, Taehyung was left with the guy he considered his nemesis for a short while today.   
“I didn’t know you’re close,” Jimin asked.  
“We’re not.” He looked down at his shoes and wondered if his ability to talk to people also left with Wheein’s soul.  
“You like her?”  
Taehyung looked up at him. “‘Like’? Stop being lame. We’re not in high school anymore.”  
“If you do, I’m going to back off.”  
“If I do, you’re going to back off?” He repeated just in case he heard it wrong. “So you’re the one who actually likes her.” Taehyung couldn’t help but taste the bitterness on his tongue.  
“I do, she’s pretty, you know.”  
He scoffed at his buddy. “Stop giving her away like she’s a consolation prize from stealing my girlfriend years ago. Whoever she wants to be with is up to hers. Not yours.” Taehyung glared at Jimin as he passed through the doorway and slightly bumped against his shoulder. “And also,” he said, looking back at him, “she’s more than just a pretty face.”  
Taehyung left knowing he would want to see Wheein again, but he’s still steaming from what Jimin said. He needed time and more drinks, so he went back to his room and finished the rum all by himself, now just realizing that soft rock music was still filling up the space.  
He flopped down his bed and thought of Wheein. Just one night, but she’s able to invade his mind, his feelings, even his relationship with an old friend. She’s just everywhere.  
From being no one to being his everything. In just one night.  
The girl he has adored since the moment he knew her introduced herself in interesting ways, and he’s sure she’s not going to remember all of this when the morning comes.  
Thinking about it now, he wanted her to remember the Taehyung she has trusted over drinks and the Wheein she has confidently let out of the box.  
This sudden urgency, he had to see her again. And even with the dizziness the alcohol brought to him, he successfully made it downstairs.  
Only to find Wheein in the arms of someone else.


	4. Chapter 4

Wheein stared at the clock hanging on the wall. It’s 10:57 PM, and Taehyung was heavily sleeping beside her. He was knocked out with meds, and luckily, he’s still very much alive when she helped him climb up the staircase to his bedroom. He snuggled under the thick blankets, and it only took him a second before finally succumbing to sleep.  
They’re alone in the big house, and Wheein was left to take care of him, which was not a big deal after all. The patient was pretty much hibernating, snug like a baby. He’s surrounded by pillows and tucked in a thick blanket. Peace was just all over his cute face, and it also didn’t help that he’s cuddling a huge pillow.  
Wheein scoffed at the innocently looking man beside her. “He may be cute, but he still hates me.”  
Because Taehyung was taking a lot of space on the bed, she can only sit near the edge, hugging her one knee, while having the leg suffering from the wound lay flat before her.  
She still couldn’t believe so many things happened today. She even felt like she’s a damsel in distress in a fairytale. She was set on an adventure to find something sacred, in this case, her friends, or save herself. But her carriage broke down, and she’s cursed by her evil stepmother, disguised as a fairy godmother, making her fall and drown.  
Wheein sighed and propped her chin on her knee. She gazed outside the window to the seas and the snow swirling together with the strong wind. The moonlight, no matter how weak, was enough to light up the dark room. Everything was just so calm and romantic and nostalgic, it’s making her think she’s seen this exact same scene in her head. Realizing that, a weird sense of déjà vu came up to her. She’s been here, she thought. The bed, the lamps, the cabinets, the windows, all of these things made her feel as if she has looked at these same things and felt the same calming feeling, but she thought so did the other rooms. So Wheein pushed it at the back of her mind. She’s just too bored that she’s making things up in her head.  
To fill the boredom, she picked up her phone on the bedside table and opened all her social media apps, but nothing could pick her interest. She wanted to go back to her room and lay down and read or sleep, but she’s stuck in this little space, just watching him hibernate in peace, and she couldn’t even blame him. It’s all her fault in the first place.  
“No one asked you to save me,” she muttered under her breath, looking at him. “You shouldn’t have looked for me. I was acting like a baby. You were right all along.”  
She sighed again, but thinking about how he said she’s a pushover when he didn’t even know a single thing about her, she’s starting to get mad again and want to put tiny little buds of cotton under his nose to block his breathing.  
She’s never been this conflicted in her life.  
To pass the time and with a renewed spirit of doing whatever she wanted, she sat up straight and scooted backward to the headboard and opened her book reader in her phone. Taehyung was sleeping anyways, he wouldn’t know.

There was no time in Wheein’s little world when she’s reading. Page after page, scroll by scroll, every letter on the tiny bright screen has consumed her. She’s possessed by every character, their movements, emotions, and feelings. She’s not just a reader. In her head, these typewritten words were projected like a film montage. Studying numbers might have been killing her brain, but the sensuality in reading has made her imagination alive and run wild. There’s no greater pleasure than this, to be feeling someone else’s senses as if they’re your own, to make someone unreal breathe into you and live their own. Erotica, it’s more than just the stimulation or arousal. It’s all about feeling alive, however momentarily in such an imagined world. Wheein knew that, and she’s so lost in taking pleasure in it.  
So lost in her world she didn’t even notice she’s finally lying down on her back. So lost she didn’t even notice that Taehyung has woken up and has been reading with her.  
Wheein turned her head and her eyes grew wide. Her quiet company must have read the climax together with her. She quickly turned off her phone and slammed it down to her chest.  
“What are you doing?” She asked, stuttering out of nervousness.  
“Why did you turn it off? Just when we’re getting to the good part.” Taehyung must have been feeling okay now since he’s teasing her again. He was on his side, with his head propped under his arm. It didn’t also escape Wheein’s scrutiny, but with his puffy face, he looked very fresh and very well rested.  
“Shut up. You didn’t see any of that.”  
“I saw it very well. Open it again. I wanna know what favors Jane did in return.” His eyes lit up in delight.  
“No.” Wheein sat up and looked everywhere in the room to avoid his eyes. She’s sure she’s already blushing out of embarrassment. She should have read it in another room. If only she’s not worried about leaving the devil in disguise.  
Taehyung sat up as well but scooted closer to her. “You don’t have to be ashamed. It’s natural for people to want to watch porn, or in your case, read about it.”  
“It’s not porn, and it was barely sex,” she said, her head turned to him but stayed bowed down. “It’s…” and now she’s looking at his hands on his lap. Wheein could not help but imagine Jane and Adam and the love Adam showered to his friend. “It’s not sex,” she whispered.  
“Oral sex is sex. Haven’t you tried it?”  
Wheein’s eyes snapped back at Taehyung’s. She put on the hardest glare she could give to hide the pink and heat of her cheeks. “We’re not close for you to be asking questions like that.”  
“Tell that to the Wheein I spent the night with last night.”  
Her eyes almost closed into a squint. “What are you talking about?”  
Taehyung was just smiling at her, the kind of smile that would melt her if only she was not preoccupied with being nervous.  
Wheein snickered at his non-response. He’s so good at getting into her nerves by just merely existing.  
Just in time, her phone rang, and she answered it quickly, desperate for human interaction she hasn’t had since morning.  
“Hey.” Wheein recognized Jimin’s voice over the line.  
“Hey, Jimin,” she emphasized his name, hoping Taehyung could get the message she’s sending across, that she’s finally talking to someone fun to talk to.  
“How are you doing there? We missed you in the temple.”  
Wheein looked at Taehyung. He’s looking back at her, now frozen in his seat, and his playful smile nowhere to be found. She turned away from him.  
“Yeah, sorry, we weren’t able to go.”  
“What did you do the whole day?”  
“Nothing. Just catching up on some books.” Wheein fidgeted at the pillow over her lap and wandered her eyes everywhere. She’s going to lie to save face, and she didn’t like it.  
She heard Taehyung snicker behind her.  
“Studying? Let loose, Wheein.”  
She laughed forcibly. “No, just some self-help books, classics.”  
She heard Taehyung scoff again, so she looked back and found him mouthing to her, “classic porn.” Wheein grabbed a pillow and smacked it to him. She realized she despised partly drugged Taehyung as much as sober Taehyung.  
“Good to hear you’re enjoying your time. Where’s Taehyung?”  
“I don’t know. Probably dying in his sleep somewhere?”  
Taehyung threw the pillow back at her.  
“Ouch!” She muttered and threw the pillow back at him.  
“What?” Jimin asked.  
“I said he’s probably sleeping.”  
With Taehyung being annoying as hell, Wheein just wanted to get away from him. She put her feet on the floor to stand up, but the pain of her wounded knee got the best of her, making her fall back to the bed and her head onto Taehyung’s lap.  
He gave her an amused look. Now, the tension in his shoulder has broken free.  
“You fine? Heard some rustling and huffing.” There was worry in his tone.  
“Totally.” She glared at Taehyung. “Just killed an insect. There’s too many in here.” Then, she lifted herself with her elbows.  
But the insect in question put his hands on her shoulders to keep her from moving. She huffed and let out a tiny roar at him.  
“Tell Taehyung, maybe he knows what to do with them.”  
“Sure hope he knows. They’re so hard to get rid of. They look cute and small, but they’re so irritating,” she said as she continued glaring at Taehyung.  
He was just smiling at her while his hands were on her shoulders, just frozen there, but his hold was slightly stronger than necessary. He looked warm with his smile, but there’s something in him, in his eyes, that somehow felt familiar and unreadable.  
Wheein tried to escape from him again, but he’s just so strong she simply could not.  
Taehyung was silently laughing and enjoying taunting her. She wanted to grumble like a mad animal, but he put his finger over her lips, silencing her.  
“Let loose, Wheein,” Taehyung mouthed to her with a smile, repeating what Jimin said earlier.  
And as Taehyung’s finger left her lips, her shoulders relaxed and gave in to his touch.  
He resumed holding her in place, almost caressing her bare arms. Wheein watched his smile slowly vanish and his eyes darken as he moved his hands, like he wanted to explore more of her skin. His eyes, Taehyung was bewitched.  
There was a moment of silence over the line, Wheein almost thought Jimin has hung up on her. “Such a shame you weren’t able to go to the temple. You said you really wanted to.”  
“I did,” she whispered. She’s still watching Taehyung be enchanted by her and now unexpectedly starting to feel lost in the pool of his dark eyes. It’s as if she was hypnotized for some unknown reasons. She’s just pulled into his gravity she didn’t even notice how his hands have moved on from her shoulders to her neck.  
Taehyung teasingly touched the base of her throat with the heel of his palm and slowly wrapped his hands around her neck, and Wheein has never seen someone give her a darker look than this.  
Wheein froze. “What are you doing?” She whispered, her voice and grip suddenly feeling weak. She dropped the phone to her side, completely forgetting that there’s someone else she should be talking to.  
Wheein reached out and put her hands over Taehyung’s. Strangely, that déjà vu has come back to her senses again. She’s been in this same position before: Taehyung touching her neck, looking at her with unreadable eyes. She’s been here. And not without her consent. She let him. She let him touch her.  
Despite Taehyung’s strong hold on her, this time, Wheein managed to sit up. She took a deep breath and touched where his hands had been. She could still feel his big, strong hands and trace the marks of his fingers. Emotions welled from somewhere inside her up to the million nerve endings of her toes, fingers, and the most sensitive parts of her. Just one touch and Wheein was sent to a world she has only read and watched so far.  
This was what crime and erotica felt like, she thought. Sensual feelings, burning emotions.  
“Wheein,” Taehyung whispered.  
At the sound of his deep voice, Wheein turned her head. She looked at Taehyung, his face unreadable. He called her name in that deep, hoarse voice and darkened eyes. He called her name in those glistening plump lips. She couldn’t look away.  
“What are we doing? Why are you so confident to do this? Has this happened already?” She managed to ask despite the distraction of her attraction to her nemesis. “Last night…” she trailed and lost her words. “Is it the reason why you’ve been acting so weird? Like I’m invisible to you, but somehow you know me so well?” Her voice was unintentionally shaking in uneasiness. There’s a missing big puzzle piece that only Taehyung could fill if he would just say what happened the previous night.  
Taehyung silently looked into her eyes. He’s still so unreadable, she couldn’t tell if he would just stay quiet or say something, be it the truth or something random just to annoy her. Or kiss her.  
Yes, that’s what it was, she told herself. Taehyung was looking at her like he wanted to kiss her. She has seen that look, why did it take too long for her to realize?  
Wheein couldn’t keep a straight face, so she dropped her eyes to her side, to the front, everywhere. She couldn’t think of kissing Taehyung just like that. She didn’t want the idea of kissing him in her head, especially with the images of what she has read fresh in her mind. She’s Wheein. She’s not Jane. She could resist the charms of her friend or nemesis and not let him kiss her and undress her and kiss her more on the lips, on every inch of her skin, and where she wanted him to kiss her the most.  
She didn’t want to think of it, but the images in her head wouldn’t just stop appearing. She needed to get away from him.  
“Never mind. I’ll go downstairs and fix you something to eat.”  
“I’m not hungry,” he said. His voice was rough from speaking at last, as if his mouth has completely dried up and he’s thirsty.  
“You are. I’ll just head down.”  
“You don’t have to take care of me. Just go sleep.” Strangely, she has heard him saying that before too. Or that Taehyung just has this habit of giving her stern commands that it’s already resonating to her.  
“Fine.” Wheein stood quickly, hurt jolting up to her knee, but she still went for the door, so eager to distance herself from Taehyung and the thought of kissing him.  
She slowly dragged her limping leg to her room across the hall. Just as slow her strides were, so were the memories of last night. She wanted to know what happened. She wanted to understand, but all she could see flashing in her head was kissing him. Kissing him, and drinks, laughing, and then Taehyung’s room.  
She has been in Taehyung’s room. “Fuck,” she cursed under her breath. And with just the realization that she’s actually been in that room physically the previous night, not just imagination, all the blurred images in her head became vivid. All those moments she thought her mind was only projecting became real. She drank with him a lot. Smiled at him a lot. Whispered to him a lot. Laughed with him a lot. Thought about kissing him. A lot.  
Her heart was beating so fast, she had to calm her nerves. Instead of going directly to her room, Wheein decided to head downstairs where she could find the ice cold water her body perfectly needed. But it was too dark that when she was almost down there, she miscalculated her steps, and once again for the second time today, she fell down and tripped. She fell on her side and screamed and cursed with all the words her brain could think of.  
“Motherfucker.” Wheein held on her knee, feeling her wound rip a bigger one and all of her nerve endings tickle.  
“Hey, what happened?” Wheein saw Taehyung rush to her in an instant. He’s on his knees, touching her face, everywhere, not knowing where to put his hands. “It’s so dark here. Why did you go down?”  
“Fuck if I know. Everything hurts.”  
She continued to cry out of pain as Taehyung put his arms around her back and thighs and carried her upstairs while slowly and carefully watching his steps. Wheein has her arms wrapped around Taehyung’s shoulders, enclosing his neck with her tiny shaking hands.  
“Where are we going? Just put me down.” She tried to sound mean because in only doing so would she be able to distract herself from the closeness of Taehyung’s face and lips.  
“My bathroom. We need to clean your wound.”  
“I can do it myself.”  
Taehyung glared at her. “Stop being such a baby.”  
Wheein just wanted her space away from him. “Just put me in my room.”  
He glared at her again as if it’s her fault she’s hurt and wounded. “I am going to do it, not you. And shut up. I’m trying to be careful. You’re heavy.”  
“Fuck you.”  
He snickered back at her but made sure not to have her head bump into a corner as he made a turn to his room.  
Wheein could feel the blood dripping down her knees, but as if it didn’t hurt at all and she’s being carried like a damsel in distress, she focused on how the dim hallway light could form shadows on the creases of his forehead and on the pout of his lips. He’s this beautiful, she realized. How could she forget a night she spent with him? She would love to remember. She would love to know how he was without his inhibitions. She would love to know if after sharing alcohol and stories, they also shared a kiss. Was it good? Was kissing him as good as imagining it?  
Taehyung opened the door to his room and then to the bathroom inside. He carefully set her on the counter beside the sink. And with Taehyung moving away to turn on the lights and to grab his first aid kit, Wheein had the urge to reach out and have him close to her again.  
Now, she wanted to beat herself up for starting being pathetic and a loser. A platonic contact made her crave for more. What more when it’s not innocent anymore?  
She silently watched as Taehyung attended to her. He put the kit beside her and, just like earlier, directed his whole focus on her like he’s the doctor and she’s the patient.  
However, Taehyung was silent for a while, just looking at her blood-soaked pajamas and contemplating about something. “We need to take off your pants.”  
Wheein suddenly felt heat rising up her cheeks. “What?”  
He squinted at her. “I already saw you full on naked. Nothing to hide anymore.”  
“That was different. I was unconscious. Now, I am fully aware.”  
“Ok fine, but we need to cut this, but I need to warn you, this is my sister’s favorite pair.”  
Wheein gave him a hard look but pouted and sighed. Of course, she didn’t want to make his sister dislike her. She had no other choice. It would just be like wearing a bikini, she told herself. No malice. In the end, she nodded at him.  
Taehyung nodded back and grabbed a towel on top of the cabinet and placed it over her lap for cover.  
The simple act made her heart skip a beat. She smiled inside. How did he manage to be a jerk and a gentleman at the same time, she wouldn’t understand.  
But just as soon as Wheein felt the softness of his action, Taehyung didn’t waste time in tugging at the waistband of her pants. The warmth in her heart climbed up to her cheeks. She’s still not prepared.  
“Put your arms on me. Need to lift yourself.” His command was soft, low.  
She felt the warmth on her cheeks rise even more, but she followed what he said and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, making him rest his forehead on the crease of her neck.  
Taehyung suddenly took a pause, just breathing and blowing warm breath against her exposed skin, his hands fisting her pajamas.  
With Wheein’s senses going more sensitive, she couldn’t help but utter a soft murmur. “Taehyung,” she whispered, rushing him.  
Her voice must have woken him up from a spell, and Wheein then lifted herself to help him. He took his sweet time pulling down her blood-soaked pajama, slightly grazing his knuckles over her smooth skin.  
It took Wheein’s full restraint and willpower not to reach out to him again and touch his hair as Taehyung moved down to fully take off her pants. Instead, she dropped her head and secretly bit on her lower lip to contain her heightened emotions. The air was cold on her now bare legs, but she’s feeling too hot to bother.  
She realized, she’s not just attracted to him. She’s turned on. Raw. And right now, all she wanted was to be Jane.  
Wheein blew out a breath to ease her physical pain and clear her thoughts. One minute she’s mad at him, the next she’s turned on by him. It was like her body wasn’t hers anymore. She shouldn’t be distracted by her sudden attraction to Taehyung. She’s confused, and her head was starting to hurt trying to fit all the puzzle pieces together. She woke up with hangover and no memories of the night before. In the woods, he told her he didn’t like her and said she’s gullible, too much of a people pleaser, and a pushover. But then she also learned that they talked last night, and now she’s starting to remember some moments with him. What happened in between the fun and laughter and the awkwardness and dislike? She needed to know before she could do something she’d regret.  
“Just tell me what happened last night,” she whispered. She watched Taehyung put the pajama pants in the laundry basket like it’s a job, like everything was normal, like he couldn’t tell how badly she’s going crazy.  
He looked at her briefly, but his focus was on the task at hand. “We talked.”  
“And?”  
“And talked.”  
“Taehyung.” His name on her lips was a warning, or she wanted it to be.  
Taehyung took his time, and once he was done with cleaning her wound and covering it with a fresh and clean plaster, he put everything away to the side and finally looked at her straight into the eyes.  
And Wheein’s heart started beating so fast again. So fast she could feel her blood racing through her veins. Taehyung was too close to her. He’s right in front of her. His thighs were almost bumping to her bare knees, so close he’s almost breathing into her.  
He must have seen the thousands of questions in Wheein’s eyes, hence the incoming sigh of exasperation. He put his palms on the counter and leaned closer, making her feel like he’s caging her.  
Wheein sat up straight and gulped the lump in her throat. Just a few moments ago, he made her feel the same way, but with Taehyung looking straight into her eyes, she felt even weaker and more vulnerable. Her senses were more heightened. She could feel him everywhere. His nice smell and warm breath, they’re invading her senses. His heavy breathing was tickling her ears. He’s everywhere.  
“Why do you want to know? What difference would it make? You drank a lot with me, and then you fell asleep in your room. There’s nothing else to it.”  
“You choked me,” she muttered in her low voice. “Almost. It happened, didn’t it?”  
Taehyung was just looking at her, refusing to answer.  
“Earlier, you wrapped your hands around my neck,” she continued in a whisper. “And somehow, I felt that it already happened before this.”  
He’s unwavering like a statue in front of her.  
“We drank together, right? Just the two of us in this room,” she went on. “I remember laughing with you and whispering in your ears.” Wheein couldn’t look at him straight anymore. She dropped her stare to her hands fidgeting over her lap.  
“Wheein, look at me.” Taehyung’s voice was gentle but was also commanding.  
She looked back at him. No matter how many times or how long she’d look into his eyes, there’s no preparing for the onslaught he’s always sending her way.  
“Is it because you want to understand why I said I don’t like you? You want to know what you did wrong to justify my dislike? So you could correct them and make me like you?”  
What he said never crossed her mind, but it did make sense, so she nodded.  
“You know that you can say the most innocent of words. You can say the least offensive of things, and people will still find faults and twist them to hold them against you. You can never please everyone, so stop caring about what they say. Stop caring about whether I like you or not. Just do you.”  
Wheein closed her eyes, trying to absorb everything that Taehyung said. He’s right, there’s nothing you could do that would make everyone fall at their knees before you.  
However, something was still not right.  
She opened her eyes and asked once again what happened.  
“I was still there. I needed to know. Why would you say I’m gullible and pushover? Why are you speaking like you know me?”  
Taehyung sighed. “Jimin.”  
“What about him?”  
“You told him earlier you were reading other kind of books for pretend. But you know what you told me last night? That’s why I didn’t blink twice when I saw what you were reading earlier?”  
Wheein held his stare. She has never used this much energy in staring at someone during conversations, and it’s breaking all of her resolve.  
“You confessed to me...” he exhaled and let go of his hold on the counter. Taehyung held the back of his head as if he’s hurting and being tortured, but then he exhaled and looked back at her. He leaned in closer to her again, but this time, he’s touching her face. “You confidently told me you like reading about sex and what it made you feel.”  
It took her a few moments to absorb what he said. “I confidently told you?” she asked in a whisper.  
“You know what else you said?”  
She faintly shook her head.  
He paused.  
“Please just tell me.”  
“Are you sure you want to know?”  
“Yes.”  
He went closer to whisper, seemingly afraid to look at her while saying what he was about to say. “You said you lock yourself in your room all day. To read.” Taehyung’s breathing was warm and heavy, and it was tickling her. “And touch yourself. After.”  
Wheein forgot how to breathe. “Shit.” Her head fell back behind her shoulders. Never has her heart raced this much and her knees gone weak. She couldn’t believe she confessed something so private to someone just like that, someone she’s already attracted to. “I am so confident in front of you,” she whispered once she’s able to form all these words.  
Taehyung pulled back and stared at her. His chest was heaving as if he just finished a marathon. He closed his eyes and exhaled, trying to cool down and stay composed. He leaned back on the counter beside her and stared at the wall in front of them. “You’re friendly but calculated with others, but last night, with me, you were so free and confident. Not afraid of what I, a mere stranger, would think of you. But when you woke up and did not remember any of that, you came back to being your usual self. And I hated that. I like drunk Wheein better. She’s unapologetic and beautiful just the way she is.”  
Wheein has never heard more hurtful and truthful words. It’s harsh, but it’s true. She’s living for others, never for herself.  
“I…” Wheein started, feeling the need to explain and confess more of herself. She kept her eyes on her lap. “I don’t tell anyone I read for fun because my parents think it’s useless. They said I shouldn’t be enjoying myself when there’s nothing I have proven to them yet. I don’t really drink a lot too, but last night was an exception. I finally have the time away from them, so I decided I was going to enjoy it. I shouldn’t even be here. I’m sort of reveling against them, but they don’t even know it. I’m so pathetic.” Wheein looked back at him, and she saw how good he was listening to her. Maybe it’s the reason why she entrusted those secrets to him.  
He could see what she couldn’t, and just the feeling of being understood and not being chastened for what she liked, it meant something to her.  
She reached out and held his hands in hers. They’re so big and rough but just as warm. “Thank you.”  
Simple words came from her mouth, but a thousand heavy feelings and frustrations came out with them. They just shared a camaraderie, although it was a rough road to get to. Now, they have a silent understanding. Friends.  
The tension in him has broken free, and he gave her a sweet smile in return. “I’ll take you to bed.”  
“My room?”  
“Here.” Taehyung put his arms under her back and thighs. “I won’t risk you bleeding again. You’re going to sleep with me.”  
“You mean ‘sleep beside you.’” Just like earlier, Wheein wrapped her arms around his shoulders and let him carry her to his bed.  
“I’m pretty sure that’s not just what you want.” His smile was tearing at his face, and Wheein liked it a lot.  
“Fuck you,” she said with a smile.  
“What Jane said was ‘fuck me.’”  
“If I’m not holding onto you, I’d be flashing you my middle finger now.”  
He flashed her a bright smile. “It would be my pleasure.”  
“You’re impossible,” she whispered, but she also couldn’t stop smiling.  
At this moment, she just felt so light and comfortable with him. It’s as if looking at him was just as good as wishing on a magic well.

Once Taehyung has finished tucking in the comfortably dressed Wheein under his blanket, he lied down beside her, with a huge pillow between them. Happiness and peace just drawn over his face.  
Wheein was looking at him with a newfound glow and no more embarrassment despite all the secrets he learned. And no matter how tired she was, she just wanted to stay awake. She didn’t want to miss any fun moments with him.  
“Why are you lying down? Shouldn’t babysitters read a bedtime story after tucking in the kids?”  
He smirked at her. “So should we continue what you were reading earlier? I’m very much willing.”  
Blushing should not be a problem with Wheein, but today, she’s really being tested. She squinted her eyes and huffed. “Never mind. I got that coming.”  
He laughed softly.  
“It’s so unfair. You know my secrets, and I know nothing about you.”  
“I told you some stuffs earlier.”  
“That’s not embarrassing compared to what you know about me.”  
“My life is not as interesting as you think it is. I come as I go.”  
“I don’t believe you. You have at least one thing you’re afraid of telling anyone else.”  
Taehyung bit his lip in contemplation. “I’m just saying this so it wouldn’t be unfair to you, but I used to do ballet when I was a kid.”  
Wheein’s eyes grew wide, and she covered her mouth. “No shit. OMG, this is amazing. Tell me more.” She slightly turned to him and used her arm as a pillow.  
“Unlike you, in high school, I fell in love instead with a teacher. Confessed to her on the first snow.”  
“Shut up.” She smacked his arm.  
“You give any of my story that kind of reaction. They’re not exactly groundbreaking.”  
“It is! How did you even confess to her on the fist snow? You met with her that night?”  
“She asked us boys to help her bring home some paperwork before, so I knew where she lived. And so when I saw that it was snowing, I went to her apartment and asked her out.”  
“And what happened after?”  
“Her husband told me to fuck off.”  
“Oh my God, Taehyung!” Wheein couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “Not only do you have choking kink, you also have the hots for older married women?”  
“I’m already regretting telling you this.”  
Wheein gave him a sweet smile. “Don’t be. I’m actually amazed. You were so brave when you were young.”  
“I was brave because I was still young. That was the time I realized what it felt to be rejected, so it’s hard for me to say what I feel whenever I find someone that I like.”  
She fell quiet for a second, and it’s only then that she remembered what he said to her earlier. He has already fallen for someone else, and she’s not liking what it’s making her feel. If he could make Wheein feel those fleeting, fluttering things, what more for the one he liked. She wanted it to be hers.  
“It was just the wrong person at the wrong time,” she whispered. “Maybe the one you really like, the one you told me about earlier, maybe it will work out fine this time. Just tell her what you feel.”  
“You,” he said slowly. “If you have someone you like, will you let them know what you feel and risk being rejected?”  
“Absolutely. If that someone were me, I’d like to know.”  
“So, hypothetically, you want me to tell you exactly how I feel?”  
She faintly nodded.  
Taehyung smiled at her. As hard and dark his eyes could go, they could go as soft and sincere. He could make her feel all those sexual urges, but he could also make her want to hold his hands in the morning. And hug him and kiss him. She’s so intrigued and mesmerized by him.  
She realized they have gone quiet, so she cleared her throat and said, “Come on, tell me more secrets.”  
Taehyung gave her a sweet, sweet smile. “Wheein, shut up. Sleep.”  
She smiled in return, and as if the command resounded through her body, her eyelids slowly fluttered close, exhaustion finally dawning on her.  
So much has happened on this new year’s day, and so much energy has she spent on every second of it. It was as if the fireworks fell on them and the afterglow remained lighting up their whole day. But it’s all worth it in the end. The serenity in her was so satisfying, no matter how temporary it may be.  
And how temporary it was indeed.  
Something vibrated under their pillows, and she opened her eyes and found Taehyung scrambling for it. He then fished a ringing phone and looked at it.  
“Who would call at this time?” She asked.  
“It says here ‘devil incarnate.’”  
Annoyance washed all over her in an instant. “Oh, my perfect brother.”  
Taehyung handed her the phone and gave her a concerned look. “Should I give you privacy?”  
She shook her head. “It’s fine. It will be just short.”  
He nodded but still gave her enough space and turned away from her.

“Wheein,” her brother, Hoseok, greeted with a sense of panic and rush in his tone. “I need your help.”  
She stared up at the ceiling. Finally, a time he would need her help, she thought. “What’s the problem?”  
“Nothing. Just driving to our apartment and I hit another car. I don’t have money in my card for settlement.”  
“You’re slurring. Are you drunk? Did you drive while you’re drunk?”  
“Yes, that’s why I need your money. No one can know about this. We’re just settling. Please, Wheein. Send me your allowance.”  
Wheein felt the anger rush through her veins. If she could, she would stand up and punch a wall. “Why should I shoulder your burden? Don’t mom and dad always give you money?”  
“Didn’t you hear, I’ve been drinking. I don’t have money anymore. Send something to my account.”  
“And what should I tell them when they asked where my allowance went?”  
“Do you think I care?”  
It’s pointless to fight with him, so Wheein just closed her eyes and sighed. Even though he’s brought her nothing but stress, he’s still her older brother and she loved him very much. She didn’t want him to get into trouble.

Wheein stayed quiet for a few minutes after ending her call with her brother while watching the shadows of the curtain dance on the walls. With her still covering up for him despite all the stress he has given her, she’s feeling like one. She’s just living in the shadow of her brother, a copy, ignored, never good enough.  
“Are you okay?” At the corner of her eyes, she could see Taehyung just watching her, his back tilted on the pillows behind him.  
She sighed. “He’s not the perfect son my parents think he is. I’m so mad at how they put him on a pedestal when he hasn’t learned how to grow up himself.” She looked at him. “Do you have problems like this with your sister?”  
“She’s the best I could ask for.”  
“You’re lucky.”  
“I guess. My parents are not that great either, but my sister showers me with love. She’s just always there, and she knows when to give me space.”  
Wheein couldn’t help but pout and give him a sad smile. “I have no one to do that to me. No one goes to me first and seeks for my attention. No one asks me to go do something with them. It’s always me who is clingy. I basically beg for everyone’s attention. And I know I should not measure people’s love for me with that, but there are things I crave that I need someone else to give to me.”  
“I can,” Taehyung whispered.  
Wheein looked at him weirdly, thinking why he would say such a thing. Was their friendship already at that level? “You will always talk to me and ask how my day goes or if I have eaten or if I have brushed my teeth?”  
“I’m not your mom.” He smiled at her.  
“Then how will you shower me with anything at all? And why would you even want to?”  
“Why do you think so?” He asked before removing the pillow between them and scooting closer to her. He had his head propped with his elbow.  
Wheein froze, just lying there but so nervous at the closeness of Taehyung’s face to hers. He’s doing it again, he’s taunting her again. “I don’t know, because you want to be my friend?”  
“A friend?” He reached out and dragged his knuckles from her arm to her shoulder opposite from him. “Who touches your arm?”  
Her neck. “Your neck?”  
Her jaw. “Your jaw?”  
He paused and whispered right to her ears.  
“Your skin?”  
Wheein closed her eyes, and all of the feelings she repressed earlier were coming back. With his face just above hers, his heat and scent becoming hers, there’s nothing she could do but give in. If she’s not lying down, she would fall to her knees. Taehyung, she realized, has that much power over her.  
“Is that what a friend does?” Taehyung caressed her cheek with his rough fingers.  
“What are you doing?” she asked, her breathing coming short again.  
His fingers moved to her lips. “Wheein, why are you so clueless?”  
Taehyung. His eyes. The same eyes she saw when he touched her shoulders, her neck. Those same dark eyes looked so hungry.  
“Taehyung,” she whispered. She’s pulled into his gravity, so powerless. “Is that…”  
He continued to caress the side of her mouth.  
He wanted it.  
As much as she wanted it.  
“Are you going to kiss me?”  
He smiled. “Do you want me to?” He leaned in closer, his lips just over hers, breathing, taking the last of her breath.  
Wheein has never felt more alive. Suddenly she’s aware of her blood, her skin, every inch of her body. The rush of adrenaline was too much, she just wanted to beg him for her life. Spare her. Take her.  
Her eyes were hazy, her lips were shaking. She has not wanted something so much.  
She reached out and fisted the collar of his shirt. “Please, Taehyung. Kiss me.”  
And he did.  
Taehyung’s lips felt soft and warm on hers. It felt so good, she couldn’t help but smile. But that smile was gone too soon as he parted her lips with his, tasting, biting. Tasting and biting.  
She held onto his neck and grabbed the hair on his nape, anything just to bring him closer to her. Wheein has never been kissed, but somehow, she has already felt like this. In a distant memory, she had. A sweet, soft kiss.  
“Wheein, I’m not going anywhere.” His soft laugh was a tickle to her lips.  
“Shut up. Kiss me more.”  
“I’ll kiss you tonight. I’ll kiss you tomorrow. I’ll kiss you everyday. This is not going to end.” He bit on her lips and started kissing her harder.  
She slightly pulled back to breathe. Her eyes were hazy as she was looking at the mirror of herself in him. “Is that how you’re planning to shower me with love?”  
“I shouldn’t spell it out for you.” He kissed her again.  
“Just kissing?”  
He laughed softly. “I don’t want to keep you from studying.”  
“Fuck studying.” She laughed and kissed the side of his mouth and then jaw and neck.  
“Fuck graduating,” he answered back and then ending with a grunt as Wheein bit a soft spot below his ear.  
“Fuck dissertations.”  
He laughed. “No one will steal from you again.”  
And  
Suddenly,  
Wheein’s kisses stopped. She put her hand on his chest. “What?”  
He pulled back and was confused at her reaction. Their breathing was too loud in the silent room.  
“How did you know about that?” she asked, her voice shaking.  
“About what?”  
“Someone stealing my dissertation. Did I also tell you about that?”  
“Last night.”  
“Last night,” she repeated. She briefly closed her eyes to contain her emotions and then tried to support herself as she sat up.  
“What’s wrong?” Taehyung was sitting now as well but was still confused at Wheein’s change of mood.  
Wheein was just quiet. She didn’t know what to say. She’s so confused.  
By chance, her phone rang and teared the silence in the room. She picked it up from the nightstand and looked at it. It’s Jimin. She had no idea why he would call, but she’s thankful.  
“I’ll answer this in my room.” She gripped the ringing phone harder. Her hand was shaking out of confusion and sudden madness.  
“Wheein.”  
She looked everywhere but him. The ringing phone was irritating her, so she ended the call. “Is that why when I asked you we need to go to the temple, you thought that it was a joke? I was too gullible and I let people walk over me? That I’m a pushover? Because you knew I had just let someone else change my whole life?”  
“Wheein, I didn’t mean that.”  
“You meant that very well.” Now, she could feel herself tearing up. “You think I’m too easy. I told you something so personal, something making me insecure, something I still cry about, something I’m still struggling to accept that I even thought of believing in a stupid myth just to believe in something good, but you held that against me.”  
“Wheein.” His voice was apologetic, but Wheein still couldn’t look at him.  
“How will I know if some day when we fight again, you won’t use my insecurities and secrets against me?”  
“I’m sorry.”  
Wheein slowly and carefully put her feet on the floor. “I just need to answer this call.” She looked at the screen again and redialed Jimin’s number. “Jimin probably needs to say something.”  
“Jimin?” His voice was confused and hard.  
She nodded and then set her eyes on the floor, so eager to distance herself from him. “Good night, Taehyung.”  
Her knee was still hurting, but she has made up her mind. Slowly, she dragged herself out of the room.  
She never came back.


	5. Chapter 5

At 6:34 in the morning, the snow has stopped. With tired eyes and heavy breathing, Taehyung jogged along the waters of the winter sea. It was cold and his mouth has dried up, but he couldn’t care less. He needed this, he deserved all this discomfort.   
He couldn’t sleep after Wheein walked out of his room. He kept on tossing and turning, but his mind wouldn’t let him. He had too much energy to spend to just be lying around and feel sorry for himself for screwing it up with her.  
Her face, smiling, was flashing in his mind. Her eyes, twinkling. Her lips. Her kiss. Her breath into his. Her touch. Her every little thing was running in his thoughts.   
And then her face, her smile turned upside down. Upset, disappointed in him. Her back turned from him, walking away. Her heart visible and heartbroken.  
She’s taking so much from him, there’s not enough space for him to breathe and think. Taehyung was feeling restless. He needed to let out some steam. He needed to run.  
And it was still not good enough. He needed to see her and make it up with her. Taehyung wanted to see that smile turn up again.  
With one last lap left, Taehyung jogged back to the quiet house. The lull of the heater welcomed him with its low humming. There’s no one in the living room, there’s no one in the kitchen. Wheein must have been still sleeping. He went on and freshened up, doing everything in a fast-paced motion. He’s still feeling restless, he just needed to see Wheein again.

There were clutters and soft murmurs in the kitchen once he got downstairs.  
“I just thought a vacation would help me,” Wheein said over the line, her voice shaking. She was facing the counter, and it looked like she’s making coffee for herself. She’s still dressed in her pajamas from the night before and had her hair tied up in a bun.   
She was standing there, and it’s taking all his resolve not to go to her and hug her.  
“Yes, I’ll be more mindful,” she responded.  
His silent steps took a stop on the wooden floor.  
“Mom, please no. I need to be staying near the school. It will be hard if I move back with you and dad.”  
Her voice was sad, and it’s breaking his heart.  
“I love you. I promise. I’ll tell you everything I do. I won’t lie anymore.”  
Taehyung wanted to give her comfort, but he also wanted to give her space.  
“I’ll see you later.” Wheein ended the call and put her phone carefully on the counter.   
He watched as she poured herself a cup of coffee and failingly so. The hot liquid overflowed, making Wheein let go of the kettle and knock over the cup. Steaming, dark liquid splattered over the counter and everywhere. Wheein held onto the stool in front of her but still fell on the floor.  
It was too fast that Taehyung was too late coming for her. “Hey,” he softly said, kneeling in front of her and wiping the sputter of coffee on her face and hair.   
Wheein, he learned, when she’s hurt, would scream and cry or curse. But this time, she’s quiet and just stared ahead. It was as if she’s not feeling anything.  
Taehyung held onto her and carried her like a feather to the couch in the living room. She did not say or utter anything. She just let him and continued staring into the space. He quickly grabbed a towelette from the downstairs bathroom and slightly wet it with warm water from the sink.  
And when he came back and saw Wheein tear up in silence, his heart dropped and was broken into pieces.  
He stood before her and froze. When girls cry, because he didn’t know what to do, he would usually turn a blind eye. But with Wheein, all he wanted was to hug her tight and make everything better, but he couldn’t. Especially after last night, would she be comforted, or would she be more upset? Taehyung did not know what to do.   
Wheein’s almost silent sob continued to fill the space. She fisted the hem of her top, so hard until her knuckles turned white. It was as if she’s trying to keep her emotions inside, but her tears were just falling and her lips trembling. So much pain and so much emotions, but there’s nothing he could do.  
Taehyung looked at the piece of cloth in his hands. He brought it thinking of helping Wheein clean the stains of coffee on her skin and hair, but seeing her cry turned him clueless again. What was it in her that made him powerless and stupid? He just wanted to comfort her and protect her.  
Once he regained his senses, he kneeled in front of her and looked into her face. He then gently dabbed the warm towel on her skin, her arms and face, and her hair. He wished he could do more than this. He wanted to say something to console her, but all he could give her was this, from someone who had done nothing but upset her.  
Suddenly, Wheein held his hand and took the cloth from him and put it away. She was just looking at him with her doe eyes and not saying anything. With the little of her strength, she tugged at his arms.  
She wanted him to hug her.  
Taehyung got up and sat beside her and then draped his arm over her shoulder, pulling her into a hug. Wheein scooted closer to him and hid her face at the crook of his neck. His hold to her tightened, rubbing the side of her arms, just doing anything to make her feel he’s there for her.  
Wheein continued to silently sob into his chest. One minute, four minutes, she took time receiving comfort from him. When she has finally calmed down, she looked up to him and gave him a sad smile. Her cheeks and eyes have puffed and pinked from the crying, but the twinkle in her eyes told him she’s going to feel better.  
He tucked the strand of hair that got out of her bun, and with his thumb, he wiped the tears on her cheeks. Looking at her this vulnerable and down, he has never felt wanting to take away someone else’s pain. Wheein deserved all the good things in this world, and Taehyung wanted nothing else but to let her feel that way.   
“I’m so dirty,” she whispered and ended with a laugh. “I’ll take a bath.” Her voice was raspy from the crying, but her smile was so sweet.  
Taehyung was suddenly relieved. He gave her a reassuring smile in return.  
Wheein then let go of Taehyung’s hug and lifted herself from her seat. With limping legs, she walked away from him again, but this time, his heart was at ease. Even though he could never know or understand what she’s really feeling, just the fact that she could find comfort in him, it was enough.

In the next hour that Wheein was upstairs, he cleaned up the kitchen and prepared her breakfast. He cooked her a pot of stew she enjoyed the previous night and also fixed her French toast and a cup of coffee. He realized, from yesterday until now, he liked doing this for her. He wanted to please her and pamper her and just make her smile.   
As he was finishing prepping the dining table, his phone vibrated from the back of his pants. Taehyung fished it from his pocket and saw a couple of messages from Yoongi.  
yoongi: we were on our way to the beach house just now but your sister wanted to show us this hot spring so we took a detour. will probably be there by lunch time. cook us some food  
yoongi: also jimin threw us out of his car because he said he needed to pick wheein up. theyre gonna head to the city asap. good thing ur sister’s van can take all of us.   
Taehyung clutched the phone in his hand and faced it down. He held his breath and wanted to curse, but he was also reminded that there’s no reason for him to feel any sort of jealousy. He stared at the steaming soup in front of him. He was there for her just an hour ago, but it was still another person she sought when she’s in need. As much as he wanted to shake this unwanted feeling, he couldn’t stop thinking of the possibility that maybe this time, Jimin would win again.  
“Breakfast?”   
Taehyung looked up and saw Wheein smiling at him. She’s now dressed to go out and had her purse in her hand. She’s wearing bright red lips in contrast to her soft makeup. Her hair was down in curls.  
The breath he’s been holding puffed out in a gasp. Wheein looked so beautiful, he knew that, but she’s more beautiful when she’s wearing that charming smile that got him hooked the first moment he saw her.  
She sat on the chair in front of him and seemed more relaxed. She picked up her cup of coffee and sipped from it, the heat not bothering her at all. “What are you doing? Join me.”  
Taehyung blew out a tense breath and finally sat down in front of her. It’s frustrating him how he could not express anything he wanted to say to her unless he’s drunk or drugged with fever medicine.  
“Feeling okay now?” He asked while scooping some soup into her small bowl.  
“Yes,” she answered in a cheerful tone. Wheein smiled at him sweetly and then looked like she’s going to say something but decided against it. She picked up her spoon and took a sip of the stew he cooked. Then, she gave him a nod of approval. “You’re a really good cook.”  
Taehyung muttered a soft thanks. Wheein was smiling at him and enjoying his food, but he’s never been confused. Did she just forget what happened the previous night? Was it all just in his head?  
Wheein, even though she’s more relaxed and bubbly, stayed quiet throughout their meal. She would occasionally spare him a glance and a tiny smile, but he couldn’t do anything to reciprocate. Taehyung could just not read her. She’s okay but then seemed to be contemplating about something.  
“About earlier,” she started once she has put down her spoon on the table and took one last sip of her coffee. “Mom learned that I came here. My brother must have told her, maybe trying to pass the attention to me after they found out what happened to him. I don’t know, not sure. But yes because of that I need to leave now.”  
Taehyung nodded.  
She smiled at him. “Jimin brought his car with him, so I asked him to take me back to the city. He’ll be here in half an hour I think.”  
He just stared at her, clueless to what he’s supposed to say.  
Wheein stared back but then shook her head and laughed softly. “I was hoping I wouldn’t need to get you drunk or drugged again for you to talk to me.”  
He gulped down the lump in his throat. “I just don’t know what to say. If I should ask you questions about what happened, if you need more soup, or if I should say sorry first.”  
She grinned at him. “I don’t need more soup, though I’d like if you could cook for me again. My mom, she said a few things that had hurt me earlier, but I already cried and you were there, so it hurts less now.” Her smile turned to soft. “What are you sorry for?”  
“For being an ass.”  
She laughed. “Yeah, you were.” She paused and just looked at him. “Want to accompany me outside?” Wheein held out her hand to Taehyung.  
He looked at it and exhaled. He couldn’t believe that after all the intimate moments they already shared, he’s still getting nervous on him holding her hand. He’s a fool in front of her.  
Taehyung then stood up and went to Wheein’s side. He took her tiny and soft hand into his and took his sweet time looking at it. Now, she’s so close he couldn’t ignore her sweet and fresh scent any longer. He wanted to hug her again, but he realized he needed to set aside the urge and just hold her hand. He helped her get up, and slowly, they walked outside and to the veranda. Once outside, Wheein sat on the stairs, and he joined her.  
Long into the silence, they watched the winter sea wave and whisper to them through the cold breeze. Like when he was watching her on new year’s eve, Taehyung felt as if he’s being effortlessly enamored by her beauty again. It’s brighter now, and he could see very well the fine structures of her face. Wheein was naturally sweet, cute, pretty, and innocent. Her charms were exploding together with these good traits. But he also knew she’s bigger than just what he could see. She’s a woman, and she’s full of life.  
“When I was young, all I want was to grow up to be like Mom,” she said, suddenly contemplating while looking into the distance, at the line that separated the waters and the sky. “She just looks so beautiful and sophisticated in every aspect in life. She has her own career, she has two beautiful and smart children, she has good manners, she makes my dad’s reputation and image look better. She got the world at the palm of her hands.” She paused and slightly glanced at her confidant at the moment. “She’s perfect, and I just want to be like her. But as I grew up, I realized, she’s not that perfect. She has flaws, and she made me believe it’s me.” Wheein was smiling, but her eyes were not. She was tearing up again.  
He reached out and held her hands. They were so warm that it’s only then that Taehyung realized how cold everything else was.  
“I grew up trying to gain her approval in everything. She liked it so much that my brother took up accountancy. She said he’s going to be her legacy. She was so happy, so I thought maybe I should also take up this ladder, too. Maybe then, I would make her happy by myself. But then in every achievement I had, she would frown at me saying my brother did it better. I was so unhappy, so I told them maybe I should change course, but Mom said quitting was not what we do. It’s for losers, and I don’t want to lose. I don’t want to make her more unhappy with me. So I just ate all my pain inside and pushed through. It was so tiring to make her proud. Somehow, it’s always not enough.”  
Wheein was quiet for a few moments and faced up her palm with his, and then intertwined her tiny hands with the big of his. “Earlier, when she learned that I’m here instead of taking advantage of off-days to study harder, she got so mad. She said I should not be having anytime for rest because I have done nothing to be tired anyways, and I should have looked out for my brother. If only I did that, maybe he would not be having a problem right now.” She ended with a forced tiny laugh. “Can you believe it? How did she even make it my fault? Her favorite son drove while drunk, and somehow, it’s still my fault?”  
Taehyung wiped the tears going down her cheeks.  
“She’s not perfect, she wanted me to be perfect. But I can never be whoever she wants me to be. Fuck if I even know what I want to be. I’m so engrossed into the idea of wanting to be my mom that I don’t have an identity of my own, even to myself.” Wheein closed her eyes and leaned into Taehyung’s touch.   
He then pulled her closer to him and embraced her with his warmth.  
“I’m crying again,” she whispered then mumbled a sorry as she buried her face into his chest.  
“Why are you sorry?” He asked in a soft voice. “I am the one who should apologize.”  
Wheein stayed quiet for a few moments but lifted her head and smiled at him. “You’re so good at distracting me from my emotions. I completely forgot that I should be mad at you.” She then let go of his hug and leaned on the rail of the staircase behind her.  
“I’m not good at words or emotions or expressing them, whatever,” he said.  
“Kinda figured that out already,” she smilingly remarked on the side.  
“I know, and you learned that the worst way. I’m sorry, Wheein. You don’t deserve to be judged, let alone by someone who has only known you for a day.”  
She nodded and sat up straight. “That’s the thing. You have only known me for a day, but somehow I feel like you have known me my whole life, even more than my own family.” She paused. “I thought about what you said to me yesterday when were lost in the woods. I was upset, yes. Those were not the words I would want to hear from someone I barely know. When you said that, I hated you. You were a stranger, but you acted like you know me.”  
Taehyung looked down and stared at the ground. Hearing Wheein tell him how he made her upset was more heartbreaking than anything else. That was not what he should be making her feel.   
“But you know what made me more upset? It didn’t hurt that much when you said those things about me in the woods, that I was this kind of person, someone who lets people walk over her and make decisions for her. You were just stranger, but then you became a good friend to me in the hours after that. That’s why it hurt me more when I learned why you said it, after all the hugs, after all the kisses.”   
He looked back at her. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that.” His low and deep voice thinned in the buzzing of the cold air.  
She reached out and put her hand into his. “But you understand me. You get me. You told me I’m more than this person, that I’m confident and unapologetic with who I truly am when I’m with you.” She paused and just stared at their intertwined hands. “It was so confusing I had to ponder on it over and over again. You see the mask I show other people, but you also see me for who I am. You didn’t act like you know me. You know me. And instead of hating you, I turned to like you more.  
“You made me upset, but I’m also thankful you said that. I need to learn the truth the hard way. What you said, I guess I’m really aware of that. I just can’t admit it to myself, and finally hearing it from someone else just confirms it.”  
“I don’t want you to change yourself just because of what I said. We’re different, and I’m sorry I judged you. You’re more than just what others say you are, more than what I say you are.”  
She’s smiling, but that smile was tainted with sadness. “Thank you for saying that.” Her eyes were sincere with gratitude. “You don’t have to say sorry anymore. My new year’s day with you was so weird and overdramatic, but I had fun. I needed this to realize things.”  
He tightened his grip on her hand. “I wish I could have made you feel otherwise. You deserve to hear better words. I still don’t have any right to say any of that.”  
Wheein lightly smacked his arm with her other hand. “Let it go. I accept your apology. It’s fine now.”  
He continued to look at her.  
“OMG. You’re so cute when you pout.”  
“When did I?”  
“Just now.” She laughed again and then turned quiet. “Taehyung,” she spoke his name gently. “I wouldn’t ask to spend my new year’s day any other way. It’s perfect.”  
“I feel the same way.” Both of them fell in silence, their hands still intertwined, so lost in their thoughts but Taehyung more so in his emotions. He wanted to have more days to spend with only her, but he’s clueless if it’s the right time to ask her if she wanted it just as much as him.   
But as if Wheein read his mind, she suddenly said, “We won’t work out if we tried.” She smiled at him. “I know what you’re thinking. You want to ask me out.”  
Taehyung faintly nodded in shock.  
“All the words we said to each other may be confusing, but last night, I figured something out and of which I’m sure. We both want to spend more time with each other. It’s only that I’m just starting to get back on my feet with my studies, and I can’t afford any distractions. And you’re really good with that.”  
He stayed quiet and just watched her talk. He’s trying not to show that it didn’t hurt. He wanted more time with her, but it’s ending long before it even started. But he knew what she said was right.  
“I said earlier I only pursued this career path because of my mom, but I actually do like what we do in school. Or maybe, I haven’t found what I really like to do yet. I’m just trying to figure everything out. Maybe after all of this, or after I sort out our push and pull, I’ll give us a chance.”  
He nodded and smiled at her. “I understand.”  
She tugged at his hand after a few minutes of silence. “When we graduate, let’s come back here. I didn’t really get to enjoy the beach.”  
“Just the two of us?”  
Wheein briefly closed her eyes out of sudden embarrassment, but opened it with a newfound twinkle in them. “Yeah sure. Who needs our friends anyways? And I promise not to go skinny-dipping again.”  
He laughed lightheartedly. “Why would you promise something like that?”  
She laughed with him. “Okay fine! I take it back. I can go skinny-dipping, but no one will ever find out.”  
He shook his head at her and was about to say something in response, but the sound of an approaching car turned up louder.  
“He’s here.” Wheein let go of his hand and tried to stand up by herself.  
Like a spectator in a reunion film, he just watched her greet and hug Jimin. He couldn’t help but be jealous at the type of relationship they had. He also wanted to hug Wheein so freely like that.  
After Jimin helped Wheein get in the car, he walked toward Taehyung. He stood up and just looked at him, his mouth zipped.  
“Hey,” his friend greeted with a smile. “I’ll just get Wheein’s luggage upstairs and mine, too. Thank you for the stay.”  
He didn’t know what to say to his friend. He’s unnecessarily feeling tensed.   
“You don’t have to treat me differently because of her. I like her, but we’re just good friends.”   
“You called her at 2 in the morning,” Taehyung blurted out, unexpected jealousy coming with it, making him realized he’s been holding this out for a while now.  
Jimin looked at him with confusion drawn in his face. “It was because of her brother. How did you even know that? You were together last night?”  
Taehyung couldn’t say anything, so he just stared at him.  
“No wonder she forgot she was even talking to me.” Jimin shook his head and gave him a smile. He pat him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, man. With the way she talked about you earlier, it’s clear she likes you. I’m not going to stand in the way of that.”  
“It’s hard to trust you when it already happened before.” The words were bitter in his mouth, not because of the girl who came in between them, but because a girl came in between them.  
“I know, and I’m still sorry it almost ruined our friendship, but you know it was still her decision then. I didn’t force her. She just liked me more that time. This time, I can tell Wheein likes you more.”  
His shoulders were tensed, but he decided to let it go and relax. There’s no point in bringing up the past they have already made peace with. If Jimin truly meant what he said, he should also try to not let someone special get in between them again. “Go on and move. This is so lame. I hate this.”  
Jimin laughed with him, and he initiated a quick hug. “But really, Taehyung. She likes you. I can tell.”  
“I know that. Go upstairs, or I’ll flat your tires.”  
He laughed again but smacked his friend’s arm with his fist.   
Taehyung winced in return but smiled at his retreating form. He’s just glad they were able to resolve this before anything else could happen.

As soon as Jimin vanished into the house, and with renewed and recharged spirit, Taehyung didn’t waste time and went to Wheein.   
She rolled down the car window, and Taehyung leaned in closer.   
“What?” Her grin was bright.  
His mouth turned up into a small smile. He didn’t know what to say. He felt like he ran to the battlefield with no armor or weapon in hand. But he’s happier. Making peace with both Wheein and Jimin, he’s feeling more carefree and confident. “It’s going to be four days more before I see you again.”  
“Taehyung, you understand what I said earlier, right? We just can’t be what you want us to be.”  
“I know, but that won’t stop me from liking you and wanting to see you.”  
She smiled. “Finally, you said it.”  
“Said what?”  
“That you like me.”  
He shook his head in disbelief. “I don’t have to say it for you to know.”  
“I don’t think you really know anything about relationships.”  
He laughed. “Like you do?”  
She laughed with him. “Fine, we both don’t know shit about this.” Then, she smiled and held his hand. “Thank you for taking care of me even though you were a jerk, but I understand. You’re just not good at expressing feelings. Thank you for all the kisses though, and the choking. God, I love that. Such an amazing moment. Now that I think about it again, it’s good I already said we can’t be together. Or else, I’m going to be so screwed this last semester.”  
“Let me know if you change your mind.” He flashed her a bright smile.   
“There you go. You’re speaking without any alcohol or fever meds.” She laughed and squeezed his hand tighter. “I can also remember everything now. Good sleep was just what I needed.”  
“Even all the things you told me?”  
“Not all, but I guess I was the one who triggered the choking thing. Last night, I thought it was just your kink, but it turns out it was mine.”  
“Yeah, you’re so…” he trailed in his words. Wheein could make him speechless. “You’re so unique.”  
“And only you can know about this.”  
“I promise.”  
Without warning, they heard Jimin approaching with loud thuds of their luggage, so Wheein pulled Taehyung’s arm. She leaned in closer to whisper. “I want to ask you,” she paused. “When I took a hit on that cigarette and blew that smoke outside on new year’s day, did you like it? Do you like knowing how wild I am when I’m with you?”  
“Wheein,” he warned in a whisper.  
She pulled back and smiled at him. “I like you, too. Wait for me until I’m ready.”  
He smiled and nodded.   
Jimin was putting their luggage at the back of the car, and it was not only Taehyung who was feeling the time running out.  
“And thank you for the sweet first kiss, and sorry for vomiting on you after that. I was just so drunk.”  
“You remember that now, too?”  
She nodded. “I honestly don’t know why I forgot. You were my first kiss.”  
“You don’t say.”  
She nodded. “When I found you watching me the whole night on new year’s day, I’ve never felt so beautiful. You looked at me like I hang the stars, and all I thought about was I would like to experience my first kiss with someone like you. Someone who looks at me like I’m special, not someone who leers at me so they can score. It just not happened how I wanted it to be, but you felt amazing. So amazing I want to kiss you right now and again.”  
“You don’t sound like you want to let me go and make me wait.”  
“That’s your charm. You’re really good at distracting me. Go inside now, before I jump on you right here.”  
He softly laughed at her silliness. “Take care. And don’t forget to stand up for yourself when you see your parents or brother.”  
Wheein nodded. “If it backfired, I’ll tell them someone named Taehyung made me.”  
“I’ll take the hit.”   
Her smile was warm. “See you in school, Taehyung.”  
“See you.” Then he tapped on the car door, signaling her that it’s time to roll up the window. They shared bright smiles before the window finally closed.  
Taehyung nodded at Jimin, and they said goodbye. Immediately afterward, he silently watched as the car retreat into the road.   
Despite feeling cold, Taehyung has never felt warm. He stayed awake thinking about how to make amends with Wheein, but in the end, she ended up saying she liked him, too. He went inside the house and cleaned up at the dining table.  
After a few minutes, his phone lit up with a message.  
wheein: your car is still here. get it towed.  
And another message.  
wheein: i nvr realized how boring jimin was until i met u.  
wheein: oh wait i forgot u dont really talk. both of u r so boring  
wheein: you’re sexy tho haha  
And one last message.  
wheein: cant wait to see u on monday, daehyungie.  
His smile was ripping his face in half as he typed one last message in response.  
taehyung: cant wait to see u too  
taehyung: and it’s taehyung, not daehyung

end.


	6. epilogue

“Daehyungie…” Wheein called in a sing-song.  
It was dead dark outside, but the spirit of the new year’s day party was still very much alive. Taehyung finally took his last step, landing at the bottom of the staircase. He’s apprehensive, clueless on what’s happening.   
He saw Wheein hugging one of their friends, but she perked up as soon as she saw him. “Daehyungie!” She called again and un-clang from the hug and walked to him, swaying and almost tripping in the air. “Miss me?”  
Taehyung immediately ran to her and held her in his arms. “Be careful,” he whispered.  
“Hey, what are you two doing?” A high-pitched voice called out from somewhere inside the living room.  
Taehyung looked up and saw that everyone was looking at them.  
Wheein’s giggles were uncontrollable.  
“You two were nowhere to be found earlier,” Hyejin spoke again. “Did you two sneak in upstairs and make out?” She’s got her hands on her waist but swayed in doing so. Everyone yelped and held her in place. Everyone was loud and laughing, Wheein’s giggles grew more uncontainable.   
He held onto her waist, and she clutched onto his arms.  
“OMG! You did!” Someone shouted again.  
Wheein was shaking her head toward their friends, animatedly saying no. Then, she looked up at him. “Maybe we should have, but he didn’t want it.” She looked at her friends. “Daehyung doesn’t want to kiss me.” She whined and flailed in his arms.  
She’s drunk.  
“You need to rest. Let me get you to bed,” he spoke to her softly.  
“What the hell, Taehyung? Kiss her!” Byul shouted beside Hyejin and imitated her stance.  
Everyone was drunk.  
“Kiss her, kiss her!”  
They’re all drunk.  
“Shhhh!” Wheein shouted. “Shut up! Too loud!”   
Wheein continued to hush everyone, but then turned around and wrapped her hands around Taehyung’s neck and went closer. “Maybe we should really have.” She tiptoed and held onto him dearly.  
And kissed him.  
In front of their friends.  
Wheein was kissing him in front of their friends.  
He stood frozen, his hands on her waist but still clueless on what to do. Her lips were sweet and soft, poisoned with alcohol, and it’s tempting him to go with it and just kiss her back. He’s tempted for more.  
The girl whose lips were just on him pulled back and smiled at him with heavy-lidded eyes. “I want to kiss you more.” She fixated on his lips and went closer again.  
Taehyung held her face, but not to give in.  
“You’re so drunk. Please, let me get you to bed.”  
“No. I’m fine. I’m not drunk.”  
“Wheein,” he said her name carefully. “Go sleep.”  
She pouted but nodded at him, and like a command, she fell into his arms and went to sleep. So fast.  
Taehyung got a grip of her and hugged her.  
How did the night end like this? How did this year start like this?  
But Wheein did not fall into a sudden slumber, she pulled back and screeched and puked all over him. The girl he’s been adoring all night, the same girl who turned him on, the same girl who smoked with him like a badass. That girl puked all over him, but instead of being disgusted, he smiled and grinned to himself and went on laughing.  
He laughed, because despite all this spontaneity and mess, he still wanted to hug her and protect her from everything else in the world. He wanted to make her feel better.  
And on the 1st of January, at exactly 3:17 AM, Taehyung realized he has fallen in love.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow @withlove_wi in Twitter for updates.
> 
> Follow Wheein's IG please! https://www.instagram.com/whee_inthemood <3


End file.
